Tonight I went to a women's event at church.

There were two sessions and after the first session I just really wasn't sure why I was there.

The speaker was Nancy Guthrie and she was speaking on "Holding On To Hope".

She had a lot of good points about hope and prayer.  Thoughts about suffering and why we suffer.

All things I want to reflect on...when I have had more sleep.

More "less than accurate" statements about homework and therapy homework from Middle Boy.

From my viewpoint he is making things up.  Lying by deception and omission and justifying.  In fact, if someone else was doing it he would be the FIRST to point it out.

He ISN'T doing these things.  He doesn't get why I don't trust him.  His teachers are all just idiots.

I think I have mentioned this before, but today it happened AGAIN.

It doesn't matter what time either boy gets up he MUST eat three meals a day...IN THE CORRECT ORDER.

So here it is 4:30PM and Younger Boy is ready for breakfast.  He has just woken from sleeping the entire day (hallelujah).

Doesn't matter that in about an hour everyone else in the house will be having dinner.  It is time for his breakfast.

If I suggest that he eat something small now and eat dinner with the rest of us he gets mad and pouts.  What about lunch?

Intuitively it is pretty clear that at some point in life both boys went without food or at least not enough food.

I think we are going to end up working on this therapeutically.

Finally...some rest.

Younger Boy finally fell asleep about 6AM.  He was in his bed.  Sleeping with a rattling breathing, but sleeping nonetheless.

Just in time for me to wake Middle Boy and take him to school.

I am going to have to stay home from work again today with Younger Boy.  Partially because he is sick and partially because I don't want to abandon him in the event that some attachment is forming.

Praying he sleeps the majority of the day.

Praying I get some much needed rest.

Younger Boy was up all night.  Not his usual up all night where he wakes me a couple of times, but an up all night in which I was a full-time participant.

He coughed and hyperventilated and screamed and cried the majority of the night.  He was certain he was going to die.

There was nothing I could do to comfort him.  The interesting thing is that while he didn't really want me, he kind of did.  He stood/sat/lay outside my room with his screaming and coughing fits.  He didn't want to come into my room, he didn't want me in his, and the couch in the family room was a no go.  Outside my bedroom door.  That was the appropriate place.

He can't/won't be comforted.  I felt completely helpless.  I spent a lot of time in prayer, both silently and out loud.

Praying for rest and for healing...not just physical, but emotional as well.

All the way to therapy tonight Middle Boy reminded me over and over that he can't miss another day of school because of being sick.

In our state if you miss 20 days in a year then you go to court for truancy.  Doesn't matter if they are medical...20 days is 20 days.

Wouldn't be a big deal if you aren't on probation where school attendance is part of it.

Here's the other thing.  If you vomit at school you are sent home.

Middle Boy vomits if he is too tired.  So...stays up too late and he goes to school and vomits.  I get called and take him home.

Second semester has just started and he has been absent 17 times.  I would say I truly believe that 12 or 13 are from lack of sleep.  We talk about this every time it happens.  Every time "this will be the last time".

Here we are...cold and flu season...brother sick.  Hardly any absences left.

Somehow this is my fault.  I am not understanding the logic, but I must take the blame...apparently.

If he gets sick he is just going to have to punch all of us.

Seems excessive, but that is what he said.

Middle Boy was supposed to talk to his math teacher today.

The one who called me and told me about the missing assignments.

When he got home he told me he had talked to her and that she told him there weren't any missing.

How is that possible?  She just called me earlier this week.  You haven't made any of them up.

He gave me this big story about how there was an error in her grade book.

I finally had to stop him and say, "I don't trust you are being accurate."

Huge crocodile tears.  He did what I asked him.  He isn't lying.  Why don't I just believe him?  He hasn't lied to me in MONTHS.

Trust...it is killing us right now.