Tonight I got a call from Middle Boy.

I can't explain the relief I felt when he called. 

You see kids with RAD don't realize that there are others who can help them.  They don't have a connection so I really had no expectation of a call from him.  In fact, I figured there would be no call.

He called and wanted to talk to Younger Boy and Boarder first.  He wanted to apologize for scaring them.

He wanted to talk to me.  He wanted me to know that he was sorry and that he wanted to come home.  Crying because he wanted to come home.

Prayers for healing for us.  Prayers he will not have to be at the youth center for a significant amount of time.  He doesn't need to be incarcerated...he needs therapeutic help.

Friends came over to help clean up.  Younger Boy had made some calls while I was talking to the sheriff's department.

I couldn't look at anything they were cleaning up.  I just wanted it gone.  Out of our house so it wouldn't be a continual reminder of the rage that is inside my son.

Younger Boy has already dissociated from the entire thing.  He is being silly and pretending things are fine.

Before the sheriff took Middle Boy away I was able to talk to him.  He was angry at me, but at the same time didn't know what to say.  The sheriff interpreted it as spiteful.  I know Middle Boy.  I know that it was scared.

This is not going to be easy to clean up physically or emotionally.  Lots of hurts.  Lots of damage.  Lots more brokenness.

Today Middle Boy got enraged.  I don't know what else to say about it.

I am not 100% sure what the trigger was, but I believe it had to do with disappointment, a change of plans, and what he thought was a relationship ruined.

At the beginning of the rage I wasn't home. 

In fact I came home to find a significant amount of damage to our home...walls and cabinets, broken glass, broken electronics, and smashed furniture.

He was FURIOUS.

Boarder called 911 and took Younger Boy and Sophie while I tried to talk to Middle Boy.  It was then that he ran.

The sheriff's department located him, handcuffed him and brought him home.  The booked him and took him to the youth detention center.

Younger Boy is scared.  It brought back FLOODS of memories of past abuse and home life.  Flashbacks.  Crying and screaming.

Boarder is in disbelief.  He never would have seen it coming.

I am crushed.  I am angry and worried.  Sad and fearful...a true mix of emotion.

Prayers for resolution and healing...lots of healing.

Middle Boy has been really struggling these days.  Really struggling.

He definitely feels like God is and always has been against him.

This morning we went to church and I was encouraged.  We are a host site for the Global Leadership Summit and this morning there was a promotional sermon.

Middle Boy LOVED it.  So much so that he wants to go to the summit with me.

I would love nothing more than to attend with him and then be able to discuss the speakers.

Praying we have the opportunity to do this!!

I am going to start knowing I am WAY BEHIND on blogging.  WAY BEHIND.

My process is to post a quick title and then when I have a minute I post the whole post.  I'll be honest....I have NO IDEA what the posts were for.

When you read about our last week you will perhaps understand.

Thanks for encouraging me and checking in to see what was going on...

Hello, Timekeeper.  We haven't seen you for a while.

I said Younger Boy could stay up for 15 minutes as long as he was laying on the couch and quiet.  Timekeeper only heard 15 more minutes of being up and he isn't counting the 20 minutes of playing around with the backpack as part of that time, because it "needed to be done".

Timekeeper is FURIOUS tonight, because he didn't get to stay up for 15 more minutes after the 20 minutes and he had to take his third med and go to bed.

FURIOUS!!

Tonight when it was bedtime Younger Boy decided he needed to "pack his backpack". 

I told him if he hurried he could stay up for 15 more minutes as long as he was resting quietly while laying on the couch.

He continued to "pack his backpack" for 20 more minutes.  Taking stuff in and out.  I don't really know what it was all about.

Frustrating for sure.