This afternoon right before school got out Younger Boy called me to tell me he was going to go to scholars and that he would walk home.

We had already talked about those exact details that morning.  In fact they are the same EVERY SINGLE TIME he has scholars.

The unfortunate thing was that I was in a meeting and couldn't answer the phone.  That didn't stop Younger Boy.  He called SEVEN times in three minutes.

As a result I had to call the school and tell them he is no longer allowed to use the phone to call me unless he is ill.  I told them I KNOW that he is going to scholars and he will be walking home.  If something is changing I will call the school.

It was like he was OBSESSED and thought I would not remember what he was doing.

Pray for TRUST.

I am SO EXHAUSTED right now.  Completely exhausted to the point where I honestly could fall asleep at any moment.

About an hour and a half after he took off walking I got a call from Middle Boy asking me to come and get him.

He had walked the two and a half miles to Walmart and he wanted a ride home.  Now.

I explained I was really disappointed in a number of things which had already happened that day and that calling and DEMANDING I come get you isn't really that appealing to me.

I had recently read some articles on "integrative parenting" which suggest when you have the out of control child to try to cause them to have empathy by asking "what is in it for me?" 

So...as demands were being made on me to pick him up I stopped him and said, "what is in it for me to come and pick you up?  Where I stand it will just cause me more frustration and disrespect."

He assured me he was done being disrespectful and sorry for all of the lies about homework.

I went and picked him up and we talked about how it is NOT appropriate to just leave not let someone know where you are going and also not appropriate to talk to me the way he has been lately.

When Middle Boy gets home from school every day we talk about how school went.

He almost always tells me it was fine and he has no homework.

Today I asked the following question:  How was math?  He said it was going good and he is staying caught up.

I asked if I could read him an email I had gotten from his math teacher.

I read it to him and he immediately told me she is stupid and a liar.  He is caught up and he would NEVER do something like this.

I told him if that was true we all three needed to meet together.

This makes me the stupid one and a f****** b****.

I also caused him to leave the house and take off walking.

Today I got an email from Middle Boy's math teacher.

She is disappointed in Middle Boy.

In her class they do ten homework problems per day.  During the next class period they go over the ten problems and check them.  This is 35% of their grade.  They are allowed to take notes.

Following the review they take a quiz consisting of four of the homework problems and they can use their notes.

Middle Boy is:

1.  Not doing the homework.
2.  Not taking notes.
3.  Writing the same answer or no answer for every problem on the quiz.

She thinks this is a problem, because he is basically putting in NO EFFORT.  I agree.

What is going on?  I need to talk to him about it, but he is such a mess right now that I know it will not go well.

Prayers for a good discussion.

Younger Boy only had therapy with Therapist D today.

It was UGLY.

We talked about the literature homework.  He told her another kooky story about why he couldn't do it.

She drew a picture for him about easy paths and hard paths.  How avoidance might look like the easy path at the start, but how there is a hidden pit of guilt, shame, and anger in the middle of it that you can't see.  How you can't go around the pit and it NEVER makes you happy.

He cried and screamed about how he is never going to be able to stop lying.  The lying is part of the avoidance.  It isn't really clear what he is trying to avoid.  In this case.  Maybe confusion.

Sometimes the lying is to try to avoid getting in trouble.

It is escalating WAY BEYOND a level it has ever been before.

This morning while we were waiting for therapy to start I asked Younger Boy if he could again show me his homework and book bag.

He knew he was busted.  Last night the bag didn't contain a literature book.  This morning a literature book.

Here is how the conversation went down:

Look, I found the book you needed to do your language arts homework.

I never said I didn't have the book.  I said I didn't know which stories to read.

The top of the page of questions tells which stories to read.

I can't find them in the book.

Did you try the index?

No, the teacher said we can't ever use the index we just have to skim through the book until we find the stories.  It is the hard way to do it.  He wants us to practice that.

I need what you tell me to be accurate.  Remind me again why you can't use an index.

Instant screaming about how no one ever believes him.

Needless to say the homework did not get done.