The boys and I started doing our devotional tonight.

We are using Jesus Calling for Kids.

I bought each of us our own book and a notebook and "special pen" for our time together.

We agreed that we would meet as a family at 9PM every night to do our study.  Honestly I wasn't sure what to expect.

Our first session was over the following verses...Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 12:2.  Both boys had copied the verses into their notebooks and written down some thoughts and things they wanted to talk about.  It made my heart smile.

We had a great discussion and closed in prayer for the night.

It was a sweet family time and I am thankful for it.

While my youth group girls were over the boys continued work on "the arena".

I have to give them credit.  They are working really hard.  So hard that they think our basement is warmer than the rest of the house.  (It isn't.)

I went down to look at their handiwork and there are blankets taped to the floor.

There is an area for tossing the football and an area where a future dart board is going.

There are targets set up for nerf guns.

They are excited about the space. 

I am excited these events will no longer happen everywhere else in the house.

Praises for creativity and determination.

I love the girls in my high school small group.  Those ladies make me laugh.

We had dinner together tonight and played board games. 

I am old enough to be every one's mom.  Older than a lot of them in fact.  I love that they talk to me.

Tonight we had a lot of discussion about what it is like to leave home and go to college.  We talked about the ACT.  We talked about how to find a good roommate and good friends when you don't know anyone.  I loved every minute of it.

We talked about school and finals and funny things that happen in their classes.

We talked about life.

I am so thankful I get to share life with these ladies.  Very thankful.

For a reason I can't put my finger on Middle Boy is really consumed with guilt surrounding his therapy and the reason he is in therapy.  It is a multiple time per day conversation topic right now.

He said this afternoon that he just wants it to be over so it isn't such an obstacle in our lives. 

It is really weighing on him.  I keep trying to encourage him to just work through it and when it is done it is done.

Prayers for this feeling of guilt to go away and healing to really take place.

After I calmed down we had a long talk about why I was triggered.   It actually took me a while to figure it out.

I think, but can't be sure, that it was because I am feeling REALLY guilty about having my lifegroup girls over and so I was trying to do nice things and be sensitive.  When I got home the first thing out of Middle Boy's mouth was an accusation.

I desperately want to be a good mom.  Sometimes I am harsh.  I was already feeling guilty...BAM...big feelings.

We talked about how we are all hurtful when we are triggered.

Sometimes it is good to just reconnect.

I went shopping this afternoon to get things for the meal I am preparing for my high school lifegroup girls.  I am feeling really bad about the boys being banished to either upstairs or "the arena" so I bought them some treats as well.

They wanted to stay home and clean.  I think it was because then they didn't have to shower, but whatever.

They did a GREAT job with the cleaning.  A really great job.

I brought them lunch.  We were chatting and I said something to Younger Boy about a pan needing to soak and that I would take care of it when we were done with lunch.

Middle Boy said "You should just tone it down.  I don't know what your problem is."

I COMPLETELY flipped out.  I went to my room and locked the door.  Being accused of being harsh is a trigger for me.  I didn't think I was harsh at all.  I was offering help.

It was UGLY.  Super ugly.

We all slept in.

I slept MUCH LATER than I had planned on.

Middle Boy had fallen out of bed in the middle of the night and however it happened it caused his nightstand and box fan to fall on top to him.  It caused quite a commotion so we were all up for a while during the night.  As a result he is starting the new year with a LARGE bump on his forehead.

Good thing we didn't make remaining injury free one of our resolutions!!