We have been quasi "stable" at our house for a little while.  Sure we have our "over the top" moments, but by and large things have kind of become "normal".

Then came the holidays.

Holidays are complicated with trauma.  There are traditions that the boys want to keep, but don't articulate...just get mad when we aren't doing them.  There are things I like to do that "don't say holidays" to them.  There is GRIEF over their biological families.

This manifests itself in a variety of ways.  Sometimes anger.  Sometimes reverting to the age of major trauma.  Sometimes no sleep.  Lots of defiance.

Right now Younger Boy and Middle Boy are going with reverting to the age of major trauma which in both cases is pre-school and NO SLEEP.

I am wiped out and not handling their not sleeping well.  I have tried going to bed and just letting them stay up, but they have woken me FOUR times the last two nights.  Plus their decision making seems to be similar to that of a toddler so letting them stay up is not logical.

We aren't celebrating with extended family until next week so I am praying things will settle down a little bit by then.

Prayers for a Merry Christmas to all of you.