Saturday….all of the days blur together. Saturday the boys did such a good job in the morning. I had a LifeGroup leader meeting at church and no sitter so they entertained themselves in the Youth Room. Actually I should say they were entertained by the Zambia team practicing things for their trip. They were excited about the “play” they saw while they were there and two people commented on what nice, well behaved boys I have. It makes my heart smile.

Older Boy and I went to the TRAC bowling party. I was worried about him there, because he hasn’t been to camp for a couple of years and he has a tendency to not socialize anyway. Praises the other boys on his lane made him feel included and by the end of the party he was fist bumping and giving high fives with the other five boys. He also really connected with Camp Uncle from camp again. In fact he brought a tear to Camp Uncle’s eye when he said “I have really missed you and I’m glad you will be at camp again this year.”

Babysitter N hung out with Younger Boy for the afternoon. I think she nearly froze to death.

Both boys helped Coach Z move bricks from her front yard to the backyard. Older Boy loved doing the work and followed Mr. Z's instructions amazingly well. In fact he was even able to explain Mr. Z's instructions back to Younger Boy when he got there and volunteered to help Mr. Z's with any of the work he needs help with. Coach Z gave them each “wages” for their work and the amount of help they were. The boys also loved playing with Coach Z’s cats and have volunteered to take care of them any time we need to. It is a LONG walk from our house!!

Sunday….Older Boy’s five dollars from Coach Z was missing. I believe Younger Boy took it, because Older Boy was in the shower and I know I didn’t take it. Younger Boy denies knowing anything about it and in frustration Older Boy kicks the dresser and starts banging his head on the wall screaming “I should just be dead.” This lasted about 30 minutes. Pray for his safety. When he does it you can’t talk to him at all. It’s like he can’t even hear you. When he calmed down a bit we talked about it and he screamed “I am NEVER going to be a good person.” Pray God breaks down those walls and the hold over him. Older Boy cried all the way to church. The boys had a great time at Tribe and Sunday School. Younger Boy and I spent part of the afternoon at a TRAC planning meeting and Older Boy went with Mentor M. When he got home he was sad because Younger Boy wouldn’t go to the park with him and stomped around the house talking about how Younger Boy hated him. After he settled down he told me what a great time he had at the Mentor M's house and how he has the coolest American flag guitar pick. We did Younger Boy’s homework (I thought) and went to bed.

Monday…Older Boy went to the school nurse claiming illness. She called to tell me he was there, but not sick. She encouraged him to go back to class. School System bussing dropped him off at the wrong place after school. He knew it was wrong, but they told him it was right. As a result daycare called and School System had to locate him again. So far bussing has been successful once and unsuccessful twice. Younger Boy lied about homework again. He now brings home math, but has decided that is all he will bring home. Pray we can come up with a way to motivate him. I know he has the ability. The boys had a babysitter, Babysitter J, on Monday night and they did well except that Younger Boy told her to F off when she told him it was time to go to bed. Pray for strength for the babysitters who will get the behaviors I am getting as the boys become more comfortable with them.

I got a call from School System yesterday saying when Younger Boy was previously in School System he had an epi pen due to a severe allergy to chocolate. All of my paperwork says nothing about it. Since his caseworker is new (as of yesterday) I are now the one who knows him best with the exception of the Former Foster Parents.

The boys have a new caseworker. All he said was he was taking over Older Boy and Younger Boy’s case.

There are a lot of things that come up in everyday life that are just hard with Older Boy. One of the things that seems to be a big trigger is if Younger Boy won’t do what Older Boy wants to do. Things like…Older Boy wants Younger Boy to go to the park. Younger Boy doesn’t want to therefore Younger Boy hates Older Boy. Older Boy is getting black shoes, Younger Boy wants white, therefore Younger Boy hates Older Boy. Older Boy wants to do Wii bowling, Younger Boy wants to play tennis therefore Younger Boy hates Older Boy. You get the picture. How can I help him? It is so irrational. EVERYONE is ALWAYS against him. I know it is part of his fetal alcohol syndrome…at least I think it is.

Older Boy was ill on Thursday and Friday and I kept him home from school. Today he went to the nurse’s office again claiming to be sick. She called but doesn’t think he is ill. She is keeping him in her office for a little while and is going to encourage him to continue through the day.

Does he have a history of faking illness that I should be aware of?
Thursday when Older Boy was ill he spent part of the afternoon sobbing that he missed Bio Sister. During this time he was biting his arm and left some pretty deep teeth marks on it. It doesn’t look like it bruised. Is this a new behavior or is this something he has done in the past?

Sunday morning Older Boy was frustrated with himself because he had misplaced his allowance and it escalated to him banging his head on the wall and kicking the dresser in his room. During this time he kept mentioning that he would just be better off dead. As soon as he calms down he always sobs for about 15 minutes and then things seem to be back to normal. Is this new behavior or something he has done in the past?

This morning Younger Boy asked me to take his backpack downstairs and it was MUCH heavier than the backpack I looked through last night right when we got home. I asked him what was in it, because he had locked it with that padlock he had on his jeans the other day. He said nothing was in it. I asked him if there was something he wanted to tell me and he said no. All the while getting madder and madder at me. I said “I think maybe your math book is in there.” He said it wasn’t. I asked if he wanted to prove it to me and he said he would do it after school.

I asked what he thought the consequences should be for not doing homework or lying to me. He said he didn’t know so I told him no electronics (TV, computer, Wii) for one day which of course made him mad. Again I gave him the opportunity to tell me the truth and said if he had been lying I wouldn’t give him the consequences this one time. Didn’t matter.

I told him I was going to pick up a set of his books when we went to conferences and we would just do all of his homework every night at home even if he had done it in school, because I wanted to make sure it was done and he was doing his best in school.

I am not popular right now, but seriously…does he think I am a moron?

It was quite a weekend….Saturday morning was NOT GOOD. I am starting to learn the things that make Older Boy furious, but I didn’t catch it on Saturday morning. He punched the wall of my house and the window of the car before he finally calmed down. He wanted to call 911 and have himself removed from my house. I told him it was his choice and then he just started sobbing. This made Younger Boy stomp around the house as well, because he didn’t want Older Boy to go. I think they are starting to learn they aren’t going anywhere.

We went to Walmart to get eyes checked and new glasses. Both boys picked theirs out and should have them within 7 – 10 days. It is a good thing, because Older Boy accidentally stepped on Younger Boy’s glasses Saturday night when he was in the shower. Both lenses are out and one of the temples is sticking out sideways. Unfortunately they are irreparable. It did lead to one of the funniest things of the weekend. Younger Boy came out of his room last night with the lenses scotch taped to his face….all the way around. It had to have hurt to remove them because the tape was stuck to his eyebrows.

Younger Boy had a meltdown at Walgreens which resulted in him throwing down the chapstick I wouldn’t buy and running from the store crying and locking himself in the car.

Saturday afternoon we went to the park for a while and we also walked around the neighborhood. The boys enjoy walking around the block and it gets them out of the house for a while.

Sunday Older Boy had a tough time at church, because Younger Boy was going with Mentor R after church. It made him swear under his breath during the entire service and talk about how he hated me and church. Again…not how he really feels. He ended up helping the second graders in second service and was fine after that.

We are working on cooling down when you find yourself getting angry. Older Boy does not like to lose anything….including if he is playing Wii against the computer. I don’t really want to take all of that away from him, but I need to figure out a way to help him self-manage before he is furious.

Counseling starts this week or next. I was originally told it would be during daycare, but it now looks like it will have to occur at my house. I am not sure how I feel about that. It seems like there are too many distractions. It would seem to me that going to an office would be more “business like” for them.

Younger Boy got his homework done after Younger Boy’s Mentor made him pinky swear he would do it. We’ll see how it goes tonight.

Here is a list of miscellaneous things going on:

1. Younger Boy hit his head on the freezer door last night and has a bruise on his right temple.
2. Both boys ordered new glasses on Saturday. They should be here in seven to ten days.
3. Younger Boy’s glasses accidentally got stepped on Saturday after the appointment. I took them in, but they are broken beyond repair.
4. I left a message for Therapist, but still haven’t heard anything back. I will call her again today.
5. Both boys have doctor appointments this week. Older Boy on Wednesday and Younger Boy on Thursday.
6. We are now on the transportation route for School District so Older Boy will be riding the bus to school and daycare.
7. We are signed up for a day at Local Water Park through Older Boy’s daycare during Spring Break. Both boys are REALLY excited.
8. Younger Boy has parent-teacher conferences on Thursday. They are being led by the students. There were no appointment times just time blocks you could sign up for. We are signed up from 6 – 8 pm on Thursday.
9. Older Boy received a GREAT progress report from daycare last week.
10. Older Boy’s daycare has summer focus camps and I am planning to sign him up for music and cooking….his top two choices.