So...we are looking for a new therapist. Actually...I am waiting for them to tell me who the new therapist is going to be.

I can make recommendations, but my say is not the final say.

As I understand it we will not be going to the Trauma and Attachment Center. They are only accepting new clients who are pre-adoptive or adoptive. At this time I can't say whether the boys fit in that category so it isn't an option.

I got a recommendation from Foster Mom J who has a kiddo almost identical in behaviors to Older Boy. She said their therapist has been amazing. They have made significant progress and they really like her. According to Service Coordinator "she might be an option".

Service Coordinator is looking for someone. I asked her who she is considering. She gave me the name of the agency. I asked if they deal with kiddos who have trauma AND are DD/FAS. She doesn't know. Why on earth would we not find that out before we pursue it. Am I the only one who is thinking these things through? It is like trying to make an appointment to have open heart surgery with an OB/GYN. Let's find the right person...or at least someone who has the chance to be the right person.

We are going to send both Older Boy and Younger Boy to the new person. This means I will also be doing therapy with the new person since I am doing family therapy twice a week...once with each boy. As I write that I realize that I am in as much therapy as they are. Wow!

Pray this transition is smooth. Pray it is abundantly clear who God wants to have as the therapist for us. Pray for healing.

Every day we all make a series of choices which affect our lives. Some choices are good and have a positive outcome. Some aren't. We all need to learn we are responsible for our choices and the outcomes which are a result of our choices.

If you are told at daycare and at home that if you do not follow directions at daycare as they relate to playing your DS you can no longer bring it to daycare you have two choices. You can follow the directions or not follow the directions. If you follow the directions you can continue to take your DS. If you don't, you can't. Older Boy made a choice on Wednesday to not follow the directions with his DS. He is no longer able to take his DS to daycare. That means not Thursday, not Friday, not ever. This morning he didn't understand this. Apparently it was not his choice to follow directions.

We had to go to Psychiatrist. We were already mad about the choices we made as they related to the DS. As a result Older Boy chose to sit in the car when we arrived at Psychiatrist's office and scream "hell no...I'm not going in". I chose to give him a consequence, because I have choices, too. My choice was to take away baseball tomorrow. It stinks it is the last game of the year, but I didn't choose to sit in the car after five or more chances.

Older Boy told Psychiatrist he is making good choices and following directions. Is this really his perception? Did he forget between the time he got out of the car and into the office?

We changed meds again. I don't know what I think about it. We need to do something different with the aggression level. We need to make better choices with impulse control.

Pray the new medications are the right medications. The trial and error periods are really tough. Pray Older Boy starts to understand his choices are his own and so are the consequences that go with them.

Older Boy has decided he doesn't want Younger Boy shutting the door when he goes in the restroom. Of course this infuriates Younger Boy.

I asked Older Boy his reasoning. He said "If he passes out in there we won't know." Really? I am the only one who thinks that is ridiculous?

When I said Younger Boy can close the door when in the restroom Older Boy started screaming "you are ALWAYS taking his side" and "this is retarded". This resulted in a timeout which took 25 minutes, because he chose to keep screaming at me and explaining how I am not fair and how I think Younger Boy is an angel.

Believe me...I am well aware that Younger Boy is NOT an angel. Younger Boy just wasn't choosing to yell at me.

Older Boy claims he "didn't mean to" yell at me. That isn't a valid reason anymore. You did. Doesn't matter if you meant to or not. You did it.

Prayers Older Boy can start to think before he reacts and starts to learn that he is controlling to Younger Boy.

Since Therapist is leaving we have a great opportunity in front of us for both boys. We are trying to get the changed to a therapist at the trauma and attachment center. This center is typically reserved for kiddos who have severe PTSD and childhood trauma as well as strong behaviors.

We are going to pursue it for both boys since it is most effective to have them seeing the same therapist and also to facilitate family therapy.

The "success" rate of this is much higher than standard therapy.

Pray that if it is God's will they will take the boys on as clients.

We are losing Therapist and Tutor.

Therapist is going back to school so we will be starting all over with therapy AGAIN.

Tutor accepted a full-time teaching position and won't be working for the tutoring agency anymore.

This is frustrating to say the least, but there isn't much I can do. Maybe we can find a therapist who will be with them for more than a couple of months. Maybe this is why it seems like nothing ever gets accomplished in therapy.

Prayers that the right person will be placed in both of these positions. God already knows who that person is.

The good news is both boys did really well when they were staying with Coach Z and Mr. Z. They didn't fight. They got up when asked and they followed directions.

The bad news is they have been behaving HORRIBLY at daycare.

Older Boy is trying to be the alpha male in the classroom and is bullying everyone else. He has had numerous timeouts each day and refuses to follow directions. He is no longer allowed to take his Nintendo DS because he refuses to listen to them if he is playing it. This infuriates him.

Younger Boy threatened a five year old boy on the playground and told him "Pay me $10 and I won't hurt your arm." He also was in a fight yesterday during a field trip and is no longer allowed on any daycare field trips. The fight wasn't the issue that made it so he couldn't go on the trips anymore. It was the fact that he refused to take a timeout and the daycare provider had to chase him two blocks before he would listen to her.

Obviously this behavior is unacceptable. Obviously there will be consequences.

Prayers for wisdom and that something will get through to these boys.

Praises for the Z's for being great caregivers and great friends.

Coach Z and her husband will have the boys at their house for the next three days. I am going on a business trip.

Pray the boys will behave and follow directions for Coach Z and Mr. Z.

Pray they will all have an amazing time. Calm everyone's anxious hearts.