Today at group therapy Therapist L talked with the boys about conversation stoppers.  About how you should not answer questions with them.

These are smart aleck answers and one word answers meant to squash conversation on any topic.

Shockingly Middle Boy wanted to discuss it on the way home.  He had told Therapist L he didn't think he used them, but wanted to check with me.

Does he use conversation stoppers?  Yes....almost always.

Instead of getting mad about my response he asked if I could let him know when he does it.  Absolutely.  In what way does he want me to do that?

He is going to think about it.  I am sure that after the first day this will get old for him, but I am giving him the benefit of the doubt.

So...here's to removing conversation stoppers from our communication.

By the time we got out of the cell phone store it was pretty late in the evening.  We hadn't had dinner.  We called home to see what Younger Boy and Boarder had done or if they were waiting for us.  They had eaten so we were on our own.

So...Middle Boy and I went to dinner together.  It was a good chance to do some bonding without Younger Boy being present.

We talked about budgeting and what he could do for a job this summer.  He is leaning toward mowing lawns.  He will need to get a clientele if that is the case.  I also explained I will NOT be mowing lawns for him so if he starts he will finish out the summer.

We had a good time together.  I enjoyed it.

Middle Boy's cell phone is not working.  It stopped a couple of days ago.  It turns on, says "battery critical" and turns itself back off.  Doesn't matter if it is charged or not.

So...I told him we could go to the cell phone providers store.

We walked in and were put on a list.

We were there for 45 minutes and no one had helped us.  I looked around and everyone there being waited on arrive AFTER we did.  I was not happy.

So...I went to the manager, the keeper of the list, and asked for his business card.  He asked why.  I told him it was so that I could mention him specifically by name when I contacted the company to tell them how pathetic the customer service was I had received at the local store.

He said he thought we had been waited on.  I asked what made him think that since we were sitting on a couch and he was randomly milling around the store.  He didn't bother to check.  I told him I thought it might be a good idea to find someone to wait on us soon.

He started groveling and then waited on us himself.  It went HORRIBLY, because he didn't know how to do ANYTHING.

I was not nice during the encounter.  I wish I could say Middle Boy's phone is fixed, but it isn't.  So...he is without smart phone, but has a phone (a privilege, not a necessity).  He is irritated and thinks that I should have shelled out $900 for an i-Phone for him on the spot.  He is willing to pay me back.  With what, I wasn't clear.

So...I need to write my letter to the company.  I somehow feel my Middle Sister would be proud since she is the BEST PERSON I have EVER MET regarding sticking up for herself.  Grandpa and Grandma...not so much.  Probably mortified...although the skill had to have come from somewhere!!

Tonight I needed a little levity before I could really do much else.

One of my guilty pleasures is watching Duck Dynasty.  It just makes me laugh.

So...I watched the two season three premieres from this past week and I laughed.  A LOT.

I love how much this family loves God.  I love how completely absurd they are, but at the same time truly do what they love.  There really isn't compromise.

I laughed and laughed.

Exactly what I needed after my day.

Typically when I walk in the door from work Sophie is right there.  She is jumping and on her hind legs and waving her front paws.  Complete excitement to see me.  She circles me and runs and jumps and works super hard to get my attention.

The second I sit down she is there...on my lap...giving me kisses.  This is unconditional love.

The boys....they are NEVER anywhere near the door.  Often times I can't find them and end up yelling for them and get no response. 

Today was different.  As soon as I walked in the door they were both there.  Glued to me.  Wondering how my day was.

Why did they have to do this on a day which literally stunk?  A day when all I wanted to do was hibernate?  Any other day they wouldn't have noticed.

I used the "I have to use the restroom, give me a minute" excuse to compose myself.

Middle Boy is a good reader of moods though and he could sense something was amiss.  He IMMEDIATELY always thinks it was something he did.

He came to talk to me.  He wanted me to talk about my day.  Sort of.  Basically he wanted reassurance it had nothing to do with him.  I did, but it didn't.

I thanked him for showing empathy toward me and for caring about my day.  I told him it really meant a lot.  It does.

I barely made it out of my office today without tears.

It was A REALLY HARD DAY.

I hate being out of the office basically for two straight weeks.  I hate the sense of urgency that everything seems to take on while you are gone.

I hate that communication here isn't always the best and that things fall through the cracks.  This time it just happened to be telling me about a project I had a part in that was due today, but they realized that was unrealistic for me to get my part done since they are just now letting me know.  It still makes me feel like the failure.

I hate the prospect of potentially going to Bahrain. 

It was just a hard day. 

I am still on edge due to my home life.

There was a retirement party here today and I skipped it.  Just sat at my desk and worked.  I didn't feel very celebratory.  I wish I felt bad, but I don't.  I had never talked to the guy.

On my way out the door a woman who I am casual work acquaintances with stopped me to see how I was doing.  It took everything I had not to break down.  I'm sure I seemed unfriendly and need to apologize on Monday.

I made it to the loading dock and tears just started coming.  By the time I got to the car I was sobbing.

It was a long day.  I hate days like this.

This morning I am still angry/shocked by the events at my home.

The only real evidence I have is the behavior occurred once I got home Wednesday night.

I really feel alone in this.  I'm ready to call it quits...on pretty much everything.