Denise
Today I decided to reach out to two separate attorneys to have them review the case of Middle Boy. The more I thought and prayed about it the more convinced I became that it was the right thing to do.
It could be that both will tell me they are too busy to take on the case or that we should stay with the defender we have because of the nature of the case. Both have a reputation of being in the top five juvenile defenders in our state.
Earlier today Service Coordinator told me that she thinks Middle Boy hit the lottery when he was placed with me. I don't think that is true at all. I am doing what ANY MOM would do for her son. I didn't start this to sit back and let him be a part of the system. He is part of my family...not a system.
Prayers for wisdom and discernment when it comes to which attorney to hire and whether or not to hire an attorney at all.
Praises for having the ability to hire an attorney for him. I am beyond blessed.
Denise
The plan all along was to adopt Middle Boy and Younger Boy simultaneously. Even with eliminating all that is going on right now with Middle Boy we were looking at it being nearly impossible to adopt them the same day. In fact the same week seemed unlikely unless we were going to wait until National Adoption Day 2012...next November.
I talked to Middle Boy about it recently at a visit. He and Younger Boy had really been pushing for the same day adoption. Forever Family all at once. I explained it to him and he told me to adopt Younger Boy now. I think that is really awesome of him.
SO...this morning I started the ball rolling with the adoption of Younger Boy. Our adoption home study is Monday. I am getting fingerprinted and background checked today at the State Patrol Office. Service Coordinator started the adopted packed. Foster Care Specialist gave me the name of an adoption attorney. We are good to go.
I am going to tell him tonight. I can't wait!! I hope he is excited and doesn't consider it "old news".
Middle Boy is still going to be adopted by me. Six months from the day he moves back in with me.
Praises for FOREVER FAMILY. Praises for the understanding of Middle Boy.
Denise
How old do you have to be before your mom stops making treats for your birthday?
Grandpa and Grandma were here tonight to help celebrate my birthday a little bit early. When we got home from dinner Grandma and Younger Boy made treats for me to take to work tomorrow.
Younger Boy loved helping Grandma crack eggs, stir, and mix. He thought it was a lot of fun. He loves doing that kind of stuff. He loves people teaching him things.
Grandpa likes really sour foods and ate a slice of lemon at dinner. He convinced Younger Boy they were delicious so Younger Boy ate one, too. The look on Younger Boy's face was PRICELESS.
Praises for Grandma and Grandpa and the time they spent with Younger Boy (and me).
Denise
Middle Boy just called. Apparently he "forgot" to call yesterday. I asked him if he was mad and that was why he didn't call. He said, no he just forgot, because he was writing football plays for the "superbowl".
The juvenile center has a flag football league. Tomorrow is the championship tournament. They have a popcorn bowl, soda bowl, sandwich bowl, and pizza bowl. The team that wins each of the bowls gets the obvious prize.
His team worked on plays all day yesterday. Why? Because on average they get beat by over 80 points. Yup...EIGHTY. They came up with 12 offensive and 2 defensive plays. It would seem to me that when the other team is scoring 90+ points you should focus on defense, but what do I know. I decided not to say anything!
It was good to talk to him. He is excited about tomorrow. It is good to hear him laugh and be hopeful.
Praises for a good call. Sometimes that is the blessing of the day!
Denise
There have been so many times when I think to myself how much more can I take. What else am I going to endure on this journey? What am I supposed to learn?
I was thinking that today coming back from lunch and AS ALWAYS there was God...with a song on the radio. Making me realize that I can do this.
Strong Enough - Matthew West
You must, You must think I’m strong
To give me what I’m going through
Well forgive me, forgive me if I’m wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own
I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up, I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t You cover me?
Lord, right now I’m asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough
For the both of us
Well maybe, maybe that’s the point
To reach the point of giving up
‘Cause when I’m finally, finally at rock bottom
That’s when I start looking up
And reaching out
I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up, I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t You cover me?
Lord, right now I’m asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken
Down to nothing
But I’m still holding on to the one thing
You are God
And You are strong when I am weak
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be strong enough
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be
Strong enough, strong enough
Oh yeah
I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up, I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t You cover me?
Lord, right now I’m asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough, strong enough
Thanks God for the gentle reminder. It also just so happens to be one of the four songs we sang at camp this summer where I met Middle Boy.
Denise
Middle Boy didn't call after the visit yesterday. I HATE that he is in control of when we talk.
When I left visitation yesterday he was visibly upset. Now I am wondering if he is okay. Is he back on suicide watch? Did he just not have a chance to call? Is he mad at me? Did he decide that all of this isn't worth it?
I hope he calls today. I know that God is protecting him. I just have to focus on that...but it is hard.
Denise
Today Grandpa and Grandma are coming to visit. Younger Boy and I were talking about it as we were getting ready to leave this morning. I like to remind him of what is going on in his day so that he doesn't get caught by surprise. He doesn't handle being surprised very well.
We talked about how he would have tutoring after school and then therapy. After therapy Grandpa and Grandma would be at our house.
Younger Boy said "Grandpa and Grandma are the best grandparents I ever had and I haven't even known them that long." Then he asked how long I have known them. When I said my whole entire life he was surprised. I explained that I was never in foster care and they are my biological parents so they were actually there the day I was born. He said "So, like your whole life? Cool."
It occurred to me that he doesn't currently have ANYONE in his daily life who has known him his whole life. It made me a little bit sad.
He is completely surrounded by love now though.
Praises for perspective. It certainly increases my thankfulness for my own family.