First...thank you so much for your prayers. I received a lot of encouraging email and notes about today's Foster Care Review Board meeting.
It went well. I feel like I advocated for the boys and myself. I was honest about what I think works in our case and what doesn't. I was the only person on the case who showed up.
I said I don't think Older Boy needs higher level care right now. Five months isn't a good chance in my home. It isn't long enough to know how it is going or how it is ultimately going to go. It isn't long enough for so many things...it just isn't long enough.
I also said I didn't think separating them is the right thing. I said I thought that it would send them the message that when things get tough you should give up and walk away. What would that teach them about love, grace, patience, and forgiveness? It teaches them that you don't have to work at relationships...you can just leave. It does nothing for healing. In the words of one of my biggest cheerleaders "It does nothing to heal the hearts."
The board was receptive. I talked about my frustrations. How I think it is ridiculous that I don't have access to their health history when I am the one who is responsible for their daily well being. How I think there should be better training for what to do with tough behavioral kiddos in your home. How I think if I am responsible for getting them to school and making sure they do their homework I should be able to make educational decisions. I asked some questions which probably will get some people fired up on my case. I don't care...except that I don't want to lose the boys.
The board thanked me for my honesty and told me that in every report it said over and over what an amazing job I am doing with the boys. That isn't why I do this. I do this because, my heart breaks for the orphan and God asked me to.
It went well. I feel like I advocated for the boys and myself. I was honest about what I think works in our case and what doesn't. I was the only person on the case who showed up.
I said I don't think Older Boy needs higher level care right now. Five months isn't a good chance in my home. It isn't long enough to know how it is going or how it is ultimately going to go. It isn't long enough for so many things...it just isn't long enough.
I also said I didn't think separating them is the right thing. I said I thought that it would send them the message that when things get tough you should give up and walk away. What would that teach them about love, grace, patience, and forgiveness? It teaches them that you don't have to work at relationships...you can just leave. It does nothing for healing. In the words of one of my biggest cheerleaders "It does nothing to heal the hearts."
The board was receptive. I talked about my frustrations. How I think it is ridiculous that I don't have access to their health history when I am the one who is responsible for their daily well being. How I think there should be better training for what to do with tough behavioral kiddos in your home. How I think if I am responsible for getting them to school and making sure they do their homework I should be able to make educational decisions. I asked some questions which probably will get some people fired up on my case. I don't care...except that I don't want to lose the boys.
The board thanked me for my honesty and told me that in every report it said over and over what an amazing job I am doing with the boys. That isn't why I do this. I do this because, my heart breaks for the orphan and God asked me to.
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