The boys were awful during the home visit with Foster Care Specialist and Service Coordinator tonight...completely awful.

A couple of things came to light though.

Older Boy admitted that when he is angry he has NO IDEA what he says or does. I tried to recall the events of the night before and asked him questions. Did you bang your head against the door? Did you cry? Did you punch the kitchen floor? He doesn't remember any of it. I am fairly sure it isn't an act, because he seemed truly shocked.

Both professionals suggested I try to video when it happens so he can see it. They were also trying to explain to him that I am not telling them these things to embarrass him or make him feel guilty. I am telling them because I am scared for his safety.

We talked about how all of that anger needs to come out of him and it would be easier if he would talk about it at therapy instead of letting it explode out of him when we don't expect it.

During the session I also told Younger Boy that I KNOW he is lying to me and that it is unacceptable in our house. We talked about how I don't feel like I can believe anything he says. He doesn't understand why. He is convinced he is not making a choice to lie. I don't know if it is going to change. I don't know that he realizes when he is doing it. I don't know how to make him stop.

Prayers for change. Change in how I perceive these behaviors so I am not frustrated with them.

Prayers for wisdom. Wisdom in how I deal with the behaviors as we work toward figuring this stuff out.