I have really begun to notice the power struggle which goes on in our house when the boys have been apart. It is fascinating to watch. Foster Care Specialist and Therapist can't believe I observe these things...I can't believe everyone doesn't!

When the boys have been separated for an hour or more and then are together there is a power play immediately made by Older Boy. He nearly always gets in the personal space of Younger Boy, stands over him with his hands on his hips and insists on a hug. If Younger Boy says no Older Boy will trail him until he gives in.

At the same time Younger Boy's entire body language changes. He tenses up and clenches his fists as though gearing up for a fight. The second Older Boy says ANYTHING Younger Boy is ready to strike.

I have been talking to Older Boy about how controlling someone is also abuse. They are talking about it at daycare and therapy, too. He doesn't see it. He views it as "caring about" his brother. We have a lot of work ahead of us in this one.

I was blown away tonight when Younger Boy was playing a game and getting mad and Older Boy said "It is a game. It is for fun. There is no reason to be mad." Wow...he is listening to me. Not applying it for himself, but listening nonetheless. I told him I could parent Younger Boy and that he should try to practice not getting mad during games, too. Older Boy said it was fine for him to get mad, but NOT Younger Boy. This is the "I don't have to be accountable" mentality that makes me CRAZY!!