I am so conflicted about family therapy. All that ever seems to happen there is a lot of yelling, screaming, crying, and storming either out of the room or out of the building. What is hard is that while it totally stinks it is our real life. It is what our family time together is like and how interactions take place in our home.
While it is frustrating it is also good to have Therapist there to help facilitate.
The boys always claim they don't know what they fight about so we were discussing ways that we can keep track of what they fight about so that we can discuss it in family therapy. Younger Boy is all for it. He wants to make himself a journal and keep track. Older Boy wants no part of it. He doesn't want anyone writing his name in a book. Basically he doesn't want to be accountable for any of his actions. As a result he screamed that if his name gets written in any books he will just punch someone and stormed out of the room.
Therapist went with him and tried to calm him down. I stayed with Younger Boy while he cried. He is so exhausted by the controlling, dominating behavior he deals with all day from Older Boy. He asked if I could sit in their room until they fall asleep at night, because Older Boy is demanding of him. I don't know what that means. Therapist suggested a baby monitor in their room since I don't have a way to separate them. If it helps their relationship and safety I am all for it.
I went to talk to Older Boy and I just made him more angry. I asked him why he doesn't want anyone to talk about him. Of course he has no reason. He just doesn't. He said he NEVER says anything bad about anyone or anything that isn't nice. I called him on it and he STORMED outside. It took Therapist 20 minutes to get him indoors.
Therapy over. The car ride home was fine and then they argued because Younger Boy won't listen to the CD Older Boy wants him to while Older Boy is in the shower. Total control. Older Boy is losing and it and doesn't like it. It is causing all kinds of behaviors from both boys.
Pray this can get better. Both boys talk all the time these days about not wanting to live together anymore and how their lives would be "PERFECT" apart.
Praises for Therapist. I am really starting to like her. I think we just needed some time to get acquainted and the boys needed to start to trust her.
While it is frustrating it is also good to have Therapist there to help facilitate.
The boys always claim they don't know what they fight about so we were discussing ways that we can keep track of what they fight about so that we can discuss it in family therapy. Younger Boy is all for it. He wants to make himself a journal and keep track. Older Boy wants no part of it. He doesn't want anyone writing his name in a book. Basically he doesn't want to be accountable for any of his actions. As a result he screamed that if his name gets written in any books he will just punch someone and stormed out of the room.
Therapist went with him and tried to calm him down. I stayed with Younger Boy while he cried. He is so exhausted by the controlling, dominating behavior he deals with all day from Older Boy. He asked if I could sit in their room until they fall asleep at night, because Older Boy is demanding of him. I don't know what that means. Therapist suggested a baby monitor in their room since I don't have a way to separate them. If it helps their relationship and safety I am all for it.
I went to talk to Older Boy and I just made him more angry. I asked him why he doesn't want anyone to talk about him. Of course he has no reason. He just doesn't. He said he NEVER says anything bad about anyone or anything that isn't nice. I called him on it and he STORMED outside. It took Therapist 20 minutes to get him indoors.
Therapy over. The car ride home was fine and then they argued because Younger Boy won't listen to the CD Older Boy wants him to while Older Boy is in the shower. Total control. Older Boy is losing and it and doesn't like it. It is causing all kinds of behaviors from both boys.
Pray this can get better. Both boys talk all the time these days about not wanting to live together anymore and how their lives would be "PERFECT" apart.
Praises for Therapist. I am really starting to like her. I think we just needed some time to get acquainted and the boys needed to start to trust her.
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