Tonight at dinner we talked about what is going on in our relationship and how we both feel.

I asked Middle Boy if he wanted to go first.  He didn't.  He wanted me to.

Before we started we both agreed that we would TALK about this.  No yelling.  No getting angry.  Just work on relationship repair.

I put a lot of things out there.

I told him I am tired of being disrespected by him.  That I feel that he doesn't care about a single thing I say to him.  That I feel like he sees himself as my equal if not my superior.  How his words and actions hurt.

I don't think he was surprised by any of it.  We talked about the various ways he disrespects me.  I asked him to think of some things he does that might cause me to think I am not respected.  I wanted to raise his awareness and actually make him think about it.

Then we went on to him.  I was expecting to get completely blasted with a barrage of items.  He only had two.

The first was this.  He doesn't like it if he can't get to school by 7:15AM.  The second was that he sometimes feels blamed for things Younger Boy does.  Both valid.  Both fixable.

It was a good chat.  I felt better afterward.  Today wasn't ideal.  Consequences still stand, but now we have a better understanding.