Denise, after reading your post I totally agree and I need hope as well and do not need to see anything that will make me question if there is hope. My Oldest Son is struggling right now and we are struggling as a family. It is emotional, legal, and moral struggles. I was looking for hope from this movie and if it doesn’t give me that I don’t think I want to see it. I am at the point again (which it has been a long time since I have been here) of giving up, saying I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to do this anymore and I want my old life back.

This paragraph from the Director’s Vision for “The Boarder”
And, one of the biggest revelations to me was the plight of the mothers of these children. When their heroic attempts to love their kids back to mental health fail, the resultant pain and guilt they are left to live with is unbearable to fathom. Who hasn’t judged a parent harshly when they see a child spiral out of control? We simply do not understand the level of difficulty that these parents are dealing with. These are not spoiled children, they are victims acting out in a never-ending loop of abuse. Their backstories are gut wrenching. Like an abused animal biting the hand that feeds it, the havoc these children can wreak on their primary care givers is shocking. And these mom’s, who only desire to give, are left isolated and ashamed that their love isn’t enough.

This describes our family at this point. I am the person who feels isolated and ashamed of how my child is acting. Living in this small community everyone knows everything and I am consistently judged for their behaviors. I am told you are amazing, I don’t think I could do what you’re doing, their lucky to have with you and minutes later they are talking behind my back whispering about did you know that “oldest son did this” or “oldest son did that” or “she has done this or that” and yet they have no knowledge, true honest knowledge or understanding of what has happened with us or the true facts of the situation.

I tell myself often (sometimes each minute, hourly, or daily) there is hope, this too will pass, things will change, it will be different, he will learn from this mistake if I keep supporting the efforts in his life that are good, he will learn to love and want these things and he will change. He won’t try to manipulate me the next time, tell me some “kooky story” to get out of trouble that actually gets him in more trouble, or he will act as the most mature person he can be (16) and not “little” oldest son at the age of 7 or 8.

My motivation to see the movie to give me hope and spend time with you, I do believe there is hope. The counselor that I have been seeing since August 2008 comes from a trauma & abuse, and adoption background with a similar yet different situation as our kiddo’s and she is as normal as anyone else I know (way more than me). This tells me there is hope!