Today I talked with Therapist M about the regression I have seen recently in both boys. The return to toddler behaviors.
We assessed the behaviors in the three to five year old range. We brainstormed about what needs might need to be met at this level in order to move on and heal.
We talked about what kinds of things you do with a toddler that age which could be adapted to a 12 and 15 year old. She said she has known families in regression to give sippy cups to get past the need for suckling and to rock and sing to their kids. BUT...those kids aren't as old as mine. How do you simulate caring for a 3 to 5 year old in a teen boy without seeming creepy.
We came up with a couple of things. One benefit that I have is that both boys are fairly articulate. They can't always recognize the feelings or the need, but if asked they may be able to think it through. I have to be careful though, because Middle Boy is really sensitive to being talked to like you are a therapist. Truth be told I am in therapy so often and witness therapy so often that I talk like a therapist.
The reality is that we are just going to have to go through the phases of healing. I will do my job to help, but honestly it is hard to know how long it will take or how much will even occur.
We talked today about trauma. We talked about how Middle Boy swears there was never trauma in his life. His trauma is so painful to him that he doesn't acknowledge it happened. I am holding my breath wondering when and if it is all going to come out one day. The story has to be told to heal.
Prayers for the boys and their healing. Prayers for wisdom for me as I navigate so much of what I don't know. Prayers I am strong enough to hear the stories without emotion.
We assessed the behaviors in the three to five year old range. We brainstormed about what needs might need to be met at this level in order to move on and heal.
We talked about what kinds of things you do with a toddler that age which could be adapted to a 12 and 15 year old. She said she has known families in regression to give sippy cups to get past the need for suckling and to rock and sing to their kids. BUT...those kids aren't as old as mine. How do you simulate caring for a 3 to 5 year old in a teen boy without seeming creepy.
We came up with a couple of things. One benefit that I have is that both boys are fairly articulate. They can't always recognize the feelings or the need, but if asked they may be able to think it through. I have to be careful though, because Middle Boy is really sensitive to being talked to like you are a therapist. Truth be told I am in therapy so often and witness therapy so often that I talk like a therapist.
The reality is that we are just going to have to go through the phases of healing. I will do my job to help, but honestly it is hard to know how long it will take or how much will even occur.
We talked today about trauma. We talked about how Middle Boy swears there was never trauma in his life. His trauma is so painful to him that he doesn't acknowledge it happened. I am holding my breath wondering when and if it is all going to come out one day. The story has to be told to heal.
Prayers for the boys and their healing. Prayers for wisdom for me as I navigate so much of what I don't know. Prayers I am strong enough to hear the stories without emotion.
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I'm slowly making my way through archives to current entries so I know this is almost a year ago but just thought I'd suggest looking in the water bottle section of a store? Rubbermaid makes bottles with spouts, not sippy cup but still kind of soothing sucking motion, my oldest is NT and 9.5 and even she likes taking the smaller juice box type shape ones to bed with water and she'll slowly sip on it reminds me of a bottle sort of.