Often times over my lunch hour I will do some random reading on the topic of foster parenting and reactive attachment disorder. 

I wish I had never heard of RAD.  I wish there wasn't such a thing.  I wish I could think like the parent of a RAD kid and not engage.  I wish others would understand while the things my boys are doing are often times wrong in the eyes of society they are doing what they know and what they are capable of.

We're working on it.  They aren't going to be respectful of authority overnight.  They aren't going to quit being defiant just because I pray they will and talk to them about it.  It might take them years to understand the consequences of the things they do.  They might never get it.  Only God knows.

Today I am yet again struggling with how to handle two situations...both regarding Middle Boy.  He has been disrepectful of his PE teacher and has gotten his second strike at his afterschool program.  He is on the verge of being kicked out of both PE and the afterschool program.  What it really boils down to is respect for authority.  This isn't a shock to me.  Everything you hear and see about foster kiddos talks about it.  It disrupts their need to be in control...OF EVERYTHING. 

Here's my issue...it is so hard to explain to someone who has been hurt by people in authority they should under all circumstances respect those in authority unless it is harmful or illegal.  It is also hard to explain the ramifications of behavior to someone who can't see the big picture and sees life as revolving around him.  He also doesn't understand others have consequences for his behaviors as well.  The empathy piece is completely foreign.

I'm praying about how to handle this.  It has to be addressed...almost daily.  Obviously I am not saying the right words.

Prayers for wisdom and understanding.