Tonight I got another letter from Middle Boy.  His new thing is to get angry and go in his room and write to me.  Really ugly words to me.

Tonight the letter was a result of me saying no to something he desparately wanted. 

The letter was about trust.  How if I could just trust this one BIG THING then he would start doing all the little things to show me I can trust him.  It isn't how it works.  There were three separate things today alone where he showed me he isn't ready to be trusted.  I received two lies and a blatant disregard for rules. 

In the letter he told me if I let him do this ONE THING he will change and be respectful.  Until the next thing.  He uses this A LOT.  Respect can't be held hostage.  It just can't.  You should choose to be respectful and then you will be rewarded.  That's how things work.  You don't get your way and then choose to be respectful.  What is the recourse if he doesn't?

We sat and talked...FOR AN HOUR...about trust and respect.  I asked him if he thought he should be trusted.  I asked him if he realized what he was asking was bordering ridiculous in the first place and really had NO connection to trust.  I asked him if he thought it was fair to hold respectfulness hostage so he can get his way.

He is working quite hard at manipulation right now.

I told him my expectation was he begin to be respectful IMMEDIATELY and through that and truthfulness he would earn privileges...not the other way around.

Prayers for a hard lesson to learn when your whole life has been about survival.