Both boys are going to respite Thursday through Sunday.
Former Foster Care Specialist, Foster Care Specialist and their supervisor found it for me.
One of the workers at the agency is actually going to do it. She is prepared to take them for up to a month if needed. This is a HUGE BLESSING to me.
When I started telling her everything that it entails for the next few days she looked at me like "you have to be kidding me". Nope...welcome to life with Younger Boy and Middle Boy.
I hope this goes well. She has volunteered to be a "regular" respite for us. When I told the boys it didn't go well. Both of them for different reasons.
Middle Boy is SUPER worried about me and about Grandpa. He wants to take care of me. He truly does, but he has never had an example of what that looks like. He also struggles with his own emotion and nearly everything comes out as rage. He has lived with me long enough for me to know that the rage represents his concern for me, but when I am in a heightened state of stress I can't just let it go.
Younger Boy thinks this is the first step out the door permanently. That isn't my intent. It doesn't matter what I say. He just gets mad. He slams doors. He screams at me. He throws things. He does devious and manipulative things. He calls me names.
Middle Boy screams at him and becomes enraged. It's ugly right now.
I explained to them both that I just need a little time to be sad right now by myself. It isn't because I can't be sad around them and it isn't because I don't want them around. I want them to know that it is okay to be mad and sad and anything else you might be feeling.
The difference is that this has been a rollercoaster...for the last three weeks. I just need some sleep and some time to see Grandpa without having a probation curfew or someone who is too loud for the hospital or is ready to go home.
I didn't tell them all of that, just the first part about the feelings.
I really hope they have a good time. They deserve it. Our house hasn't been fun or anywhere near it for the last three weeks. They need a break, too.
Prayers for the respite family. Prayers for the boys at respite.
Former Foster Care Specialist, Foster Care Specialist and their supervisor found it for me.
One of the workers at the agency is actually going to do it. She is prepared to take them for up to a month if needed. This is a HUGE BLESSING to me.
When I started telling her everything that it entails for the next few days she looked at me like "you have to be kidding me". Nope...welcome to life with Younger Boy and Middle Boy.
I hope this goes well. She has volunteered to be a "regular" respite for us. When I told the boys it didn't go well. Both of them for different reasons.
Middle Boy is SUPER worried about me and about Grandpa. He wants to take care of me. He truly does, but he has never had an example of what that looks like. He also struggles with his own emotion and nearly everything comes out as rage. He has lived with me long enough for me to know that the rage represents his concern for me, but when I am in a heightened state of stress I can't just let it go.
Younger Boy thinks this is the first step out the door permanently. That isn't my intent. It doesn't matter what I say. He just gets mad. He slams doors. He screams at me. He throws things. He does devious and manipulative things. He calls me names.
Middle Boy screams at him and becomes enraged. It's ugly right now.
I explained to them both that I just need a little time to be sad right now by myself. It isn't because I can't be sad around them and it isn't because I don't want them around. I want them to know that it is okay to be mad and sad and anything else you might be feeling.
The difference is that this has been a rollercoaster...for the last three weeks. I just need some sleep and some time to see Grandpa without having a probation curfew or someone who is too loud for the hospital or is ready to go home.
I didn't tell them all of that, just the first part about the feelings.
I really hope they have a good time. They deserve it. Our house hasn't been fun or anywhere near it for the last three weeks. They need a break, too.
Prayers for the respite family. Prayers for the boys at respite.
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