While at times I actually like social media. Right now it is making my life rough.
Middle Boy's bio mom found him even though he uses my last name on the site. He has contact with two bio sisters and she figured it out...or they told her.
The messages she has sent are making our lives be in turmoil. He wants to be in contact, but doesn't. It's complicated. She relinquished her rights so she isn't really court ordered to stay away.
I could use a little advice.
Here's the conversation to date:
Mom - Oh my gosh. How r u? I miss u so much.
MB - Good how r u
Mom - Pretty sick, but much better hearin from u
Mom - Where r u livin now?
Mom - Can you call XXX-XXX-XXXX
Mom - See I dyed my hair blond cause you kept asking me to. You born in fort stockton texas, not el paso. I have been tyring to find you for so long I thought you might think I gave up on you. I love you too much to do that. Are you adopted now? Are they good to you? Any brothers or sisters?
MB - One brother and yes they r treating me good
Mom - That makes me feel good. I would rather have you with me but God has his own plan I guess.
MB - Do u still have my baby pictures
Mom - some
MB - I have no idea what I looked like wen I was a baby
Mom - U were adorable as a baby. i hope u know how much i luv u and i hope u still luv me
Mom - r u at school
MB - sry been a little busy
Mom - thats okay i thought you didn't want to talk to me or something
Mom - r u still there
MB - yep
Mom - so u aren't mad at me about something
Mom - happy easter i luv u mom
Mom - r u there
MB - yea
Mom - i miss you
MB - me 2
Mom - wish you could call me XXX-XXX-XXXX
Mom - r u there
Mom - my message thing is messing up
Mom - Did u see your baby picture I posed a little over a week ago? u were 3.
MB - yea
Mom - I have more. I just have to get them out. I told u u were a cutie.
Mom - don't u want to talk to me
Mom - love u. I wish u would say it back to me or tell me if you don't
MB - yea
Mom - what do you mean? I'm not lyin, I love u with all my heart. I cry every day cause u aint with me.
MB - ly
Mom - do u really or u just saying that? u mean more to me than all my other children. I just hope u know. I'm sorry for not being there for u.
Mom - Got some bad news. I really am very sick. I eat mostly thru a feeding tube in my stomach.
Mom - Is there any way I can see u in the next few years. I don't know if i'll live much longer than that.
Therapist thinks maybe it is helping him see the relationship. I don't know. I spend a lot of time talking about how it okay to not want to talk to her and it is okay if he just wants to delete her and tell her he doesn't want to. It is also okay if he does, but not right now.
It makes me angry. Not that she wants to have contact. She is his mom after all, but all of this is all about her and her needing confirmation that he forgives her and still loves her. In my opinion he isn't there yet.
Prayers that one day this can be a healthy relationship if that is God's will.
Middle Boy's bio mom found him even though he uses my last name on the site. He has contact with two bio sisters and she figured it out...or they told her.
The messages she has sent are making our lives be in turmoil. He wants to be in contact, but doesn't. It's complicated. She relinquished her rights so she isn't really court ordered to stay away.
I could use a little advice.
Here's the conversation to date:
Mom - Oh my gosh. How r u? I miss u so much.
MB - Good how r u
Mom - Pretty sick, but much better hearin from u
Mom - Where r u livin now?
Mom - Can you call XXX-XXX-XXXX
Mom - See I dyed my hair blond cause you kept asking me to. You born in fort stockton texas, not el paso. I have been tyring to find you for so long I thought you might think I gave up on you. I love you too much to do that. Are you adopted now? Are they good to you? Any brothers or sisters?
MB - One brother and yes they r treating me good
Mom - That makes me feel good. I would rather have you with me but God has his own plan I guess.
MB - Do u still have my baby pictures
Mom - some
MB - I have no idea what I looked like wen I was a baby
Mom - U were adorable as a baby. i hope u know how much i luv u and i hope u still luv me
Mom - r u at school
MB - sry been a little busy
Mom - thats okay i thought you didn't want to talk to me or something
Mom - r u still there
MB - yep
Mom - so u aren't mad at me about something
Mom - happy easter i luv u mom
Mom - r u there
MB - yea
Mom - i miss you
MB - me 2
Mom - wish you could call me XXX-XXX-XXXX
Mom - r u there
Mom - my message thing is messing up
Mom - Did u see your baby picture I posed a little over a week ago? u were 3.
MB - yea
Mom - I have more. I just have to get them out. I told u u were a cutie.
Mom - don't u want to talk to me
Mom - love u. I wish u would say it back to me or tell me if you don't
MB - yea
Mom - what do you mean? I'm not lyin, I love u with all my heart. I cry every day cause u aint with me.
MB - ly
Mom - do u really or u just saying that? u mean more to me than all my other children. I just hope u know. I'm sorry for not being there for u.
Mom - Got some bad news. I really am very sick. I eat mostly thru a feeding tube in my stomach.
Mom - Is there any way I can see u in the next few years. I don't know if i'll live much longer than that.
Therapist thinks maybe it is helping him see the relationship. I don't know. I spend a lot of time talking about how it okay to not want to talk to her and it is okay if he just wants to delete her and tell her he doesn't want to. It is also okay if he does, but not right now.
It makes me angry. Not that she wants to have contact. She is his mom after all, but all of this is all about her and her needing confirmation that he forgives her and still loves her. In my opinion he isn't there yet.
Prayers that one day this can be a healthy relationship if that is God's will.
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