Today was Younger Boy's therapy.  Therapist C and Therapist D decided to turn up the heat on him regarding homework.  We played "detective" and finally figured out that Younger Boy doesn't want to be responsible for anything.

In his own words he said "it is too hard living at this house and having responsibility" and "he would rather be a foster child".  He also said that he wishes he were just four.

That is the age he has been reverting to on a more and more increasing basis.  At this point in time it is difficult to tell whether he is in control of when it happens or if he isn't.  This is two VERY different diagnosis.  If he isn't this is the first signs of dissociative personality disorder.  Basically multiple personalities which in your mind allow you to meet your needs.  If it isn't that it is conduct disorder which is basically manipulating all situations to meet your needs and showing no remorse.  We are going to behave right now like it is dissociative disorder.  I am going to ask questions like "who is here with is 4 year old Younger Boy or 12 year old Younger Boy?"

Honestly 99% of the time I can tell which one is there.  There is a tone of voice and a look in the eyes that is dissociative.

He is spending the majority of the time as a 4 year old right now.  Studies would show that this could be good, because it could be the beginning of healing.  It is when his "major" trauma took place and where his physical needs may not have been met.

I can tell you is hard.  It is frustrating and it is exhausting.  I can't even out guess which Younger Boy I will get in any situation and there have been a number of times lately when it wasn't appropriate to have a four-year old there so we have just stayed home.

Pray for healing.  Pray for rest.  Pray the rest of the people in our lives would offer us grace.
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