Our therapists recently attended an international trauma conference and were discussing methodology with some of other top trauma therapists in the world. I had given them permission to use our case during discussion, because in many ways we are having trouble getting through to Younger Boy.
There was a consensus maybe they should try the "fingers of trauma" approach with him. In most cases you can address the trauma and it will filter down to all other areas of life. In some cases you have to start out at all of the others areas (the fingers) in order to get to the trauma, because the trauma is just "so big and hard".
So...new approach. This identifies "characters" which are part of each of us. We all have them and let them "be in charge" every now and then. We identified Younger Boy's and talked about them. We also named them all so we can talk to them in the future. It is important to note that these aren't "personalities", but instead parts of self.
Here is what we came up with:
Most Adult Self - This is the boy who is stable and can make good choices. This boys is smart and kind.
Sleep Master - This is the part of self who controls sleep. He decides when Younger Boy sleeps and when he doesn't. He takes over at bedtime and prevents sleep, but he also shows up at school when things are confusing and need to be avoided.
Time Keeper - This is the person who has no concept of time, but is also quite rigid about time. Something supposed to happen at 8:30...8:26 is not close enough. This person is sometimes in the past and sometimes in the present. He has all of his life events out of order and doesn't know the months of the year in order. He thinks five minutes is an eternity yet can't get himself where he is supposed to be in any length of reasonable time.
Foodie - This is the person who thinks we will run out of food and don't have money for food. He is also the one who continually checks expiration dates and throws food away when he thinks we have "had it for too long". This is also the person who takes 45 minutes to eat a single cookie or an apple.
Story Teller - This is the person who struggles with honesty.
Captain Gloom and Doom - This is the person who believes the worst possible scenario is going to happen EVERY SINGLE TIME.
We talked about how Most Adult Self has to remain the one in charge. How we know there is an internal battle with all of these "other people", but Most Adult Self has to get stronger and take control. He has to tell the others to pipe down and reassure them they are safe and cared for.
Younger Boy gets all of this. It is FASCINATING to watch him think about it and "talk to" the others in his mind.
Prayers that this method will give us a huge breakthrough of healing.
There was a consensus maybe they should try the "fingers of trauma" approach with him. In most cases you can address the trauma and it will filter down to all other areas of life. In some cases you have to start out at all of the others areas (the fingers) in order to get to the trauma, because the trauma is just "so big and hard".
So...new approach. This identifies "characters" which are part of each of us. We all have them and let them "be in charge" every now and then. We identified Younger Boy's and talked about them. We also named them all so we can talk to them in the future. It is important to note that these aren't "personalities", but instead parts of self.
Here is what we came up with:
Most Adult Self - This is the boy who is stable and can make good choices. This boys is smart and kind.
Sleep Master - This is the part of self who controls sleep. He decides when Younger Boy sleeps and when he doesn't. He takes over at bedtime and prevents sleep, but he also shows up at school when things are confusing and need to be avoided.
Time Keeper - This is the person who has no concept of time, but is also quite rigid about time. Something supposed to happen at 8:30...8:26 is not close enough. This person is sometimes in the past and sometimes in the present. He has all of his life events out of order and doesn't know the months of the year in order. He thinks five minutes is an eternity yet can't get himself where he is supposed to be in any length of reasonable time.
Foodie - This is the person who thinks we will run out of food and don't have money for food. He is also the one who continually checks expiration dates and throws food away when he thinks we have "had it for too long". This is also the person who takes 45 minutes to eat a single cookie or an apple.
Story Teller - This is the person who struggles with honesty.
Captain Gloom and Doom - This is the person who believes the worst possible scenario is going to happen EVERY SINGLE TIME.
We talked about how Most Adult Self has to remain the one in charge. How we know there is an internal battle with all of these "other people", but Most Adult Self has to get stronger and take control. He has to tell the others to pipe down and reassure them they are safe and cared for.
Younger Boy gets all of this. It is FASCINATING to watch him think about it and "talk to" the others in his mind.
Prayers that this method will give us a huge breakthrough of healing.
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