Having traumatized kids is lonely.  Really lonely.

This post touched my heart today.  It really touched my heart.

I struggle so much with how to answer when people ask how the boys are and how things are going.  My boys scare people.  They scare some of my family members.  They haven't ever really said it, but I see it.

People don't know what to say if I tell them what is going on with us.

I don't want to hear about how strong I am.  I don't need those words of affirmation....not very often anyway.

What I need is someone else to see and love the boys the way I see and love the boys.  Do they frustrate me?  Absolutely.  What kid doesn't?

Sometimes....I just need a hug.  Someone who will just let me break down and talk about how hard this is.  Who won't be scared away by the tears I cry on a regular basis.  About how I still know to the DEPTH of MY SOUL that this is still what I am supposed to be doing and my desire to have more kids in my home.  Someone to tell me I am NOT crazy.

Don't be scared of my boys.  The reality is that they are the way they are, because they are SCARED.  Scared kids make scared adults, because they look scary.

Please just love us.