Mom J and I talked for about an hour this afternoon.

We had some catching up to do and we needed to share some things.

After our normal catch up time she asked if she could talk to me about a couple of things on her heart.

Absolutely.

She told me not to hate her, but that she is really grieving not being able to adopt Younger Boy.  You see, they were going to adopt her about four years ago.  Things didn't work out and she never grieved it.  She kept telling me over and over that she loved me and she thinks I am the mom for Younger Boy, but she is still sad.

I get that.

She also talked about how much healthier the kids all are since the trauma bonds between Older Boy and Younger Boy and Younger Boy and Little Sister have been severed to some degree.  Knowing that doesn't make you any less sad.

I still sometimes grieve the decision to have Older Boy move out even knowing that it was absolutely the best thing for all of us.

She also asked me if I would consider learning more about guardianship for Older Boy and Middle Brother. 

I am not making promises right now, but I am going to take the guardianship class.  I want to understand my roles, responsibilities, and liability.  I want to understand the legalities.

She cried when I told her I would consider it.

I love this family.  I want the kids to all be able to remain in contact.  I love that she is my support system.