Since it was rush hour the drive home took a while.

I was able to begin to talk to Middle Boy with him in a rational frame of mind.

I asked him if he knew what had triggered him to become so angry.  I didn't suggest anything, just asked him. 

He finally said that he knew he was wrong for not watching for me after school and that he got carried away.  He said that he feels like I am going to have him move out or not love him anymore when he does something wrong.

I asked him what makes him think that.  Is it something I say or do?  I want him (actually both boys) to feel like this is permanent because it is.  I want the fear that they are leaving to subside.

He said when I walk away after an argument or during an argument he thinks I won't come back, because that has happened.  I explained that I walk away in frustration just to gather my thoughts.  We talked about whether or not there was something I could say to make him feel safe.

We also talked about how it hurts me when he is so verbally abusive.  When he tells me the things he does when he is angry.  No one deserves to be talked to like that...EVER...no matter what the situation.

He said that his friends know not to make him mad.  I explained that it isn't fair to ask others to control their behavior so you don't have to control yours.  Instead you need to work on a way to release all of the built up anger and control it without exploding.

The discussion was good.  I think I remained patient and kind...which is my goal.

Prayers for healing of this relationship and strength for me until the healing occurs.