Tonight was out first family session for Middle Boy's therapy. It was rough, but in the end really good.
It started with Therapist L telling Middle Boy she is tired of the excuses. He is BARELY meeting the minimum requirements of therapy. She feels he is too comfortable.
The point of family therapy is once this therapy is over I will be his support system so he has to tell me about his struggles and talk them through with me. He IMMEDIATELY became defensive and angry. He said the whole thing with having to present his homework to me was stupid and served no point.
Finally he decided to present a paper on Sympathy, Empathy, and Apathy. He gave me the definition of each and then Therapist L told him to give me an example of each in his life from the past week. He had nothing for any of them.
She had me talk about my thoughts about how I am treated by Middle Boy. She asked if he was respectful of me and followed my directions. No...he is not respectful of me the majority of the time. She asked him why and he said, "Because I like to win." She asked what he is winning by being disrespectful. What is the prize?
She had him define the types of abuse. She asked me to give examples of the way he talks to me. She asked him to tell her if the way he talks to me falls into any of the abuse categories. He wouldn't answer. She told him it makes her sad that he is emotionally abusive to me.
She asked him to give her a definition of what a parent should do and how a family should be. He didn't have anything. It became his homework for next week.
She pointed out to him that he has MANY walls built up and he is in a "push-pull" relationship with me. He "pulls" me toward him, because he really wants to have a parent/child relationship, but as soon as he thinks he might be hurt he "pushes". She confirmed we are aware there have been many things which have happened to him which shouldn't have happened to him. She confirmed since none of his previous foster families have worked out for him they have all been dysfunctional. She explained to him how with this family it isn't dysfunctional and because that is the only thing he knows he is working as hard as he can to introduce the dysfunction. This INFURIATED him.
Honestly...it was a good session. A really good session. We are going to start doing them once a month.
I am thankful for Therapist L.
Praises for God putting Therapist L in our life. She is a Christianity-based therapist and it has been incredibly helpful.
Prayers for understanding and wisdom.
It started with Therapist L telling Middle Boy she is tired of the excuses. He is BARELY meeting the minimum requirements of therapy. She feels he is too comfortable.
The point of family therapy is once this therapy is over I will be his support system so he has to tell me about his struggles and talk them through with me. He IMMEDIATELY became defensive and angry. He said the whole thing with having to present his homework to me was stupid and served no point.
Finally he decided to present a paper on Sympathy, Empathy, and Apathy. He gave me the definition of each and then Therapist L told him to give me an example of each in his life from the past week. He had nothing for any of them.
She had me talk about my thoughts about how I am treated by Middle Boy. She asked if he was respectful of me and followed my directions. No...he is not respectful of me the majority of the time. She asked him why and he said, "Because I like to win." She asked what he is winning by being disrespectful. What is the prize?
She had him define the types of abuse. She asked me to give examples of the way he talks to me. She asked him to tell her if the way he talks to me falls into any of the abuse categories. He wouldn't answer. She told him it makes her sad that he is emotionally abusive to me.
She asked him to give her a definition of what a parent should do and how a family should be. He didn't have anything. It became his homework for next week.
She pointed out to him that he has MANY walls built up and he is in a "push-pull" relationship with me. He "pulls" me toward him, because he really wants to have a parent/child relationship, but as soon as he thinks he might be hurt he "pushes". She confirmed we are aware there have been many things which have happened to him which shouldn't have happened to him. She confirmed since none of his previous foster families have worked out for him they have all been dysfunctional. She explained to him how with this family it isn't dysfunctional and because that is the only thing he knows he is working as hard as he can to introduce the dysfunction. This INFURIATED him.
Honestly...it was a good session. A really good session. We are going to start doing them once a month.
I am thankful for Therapist L.
Praises for God putting Therapist L in our life. She is a Christianity-based therapist and it has been incredibly helpful.
Prayers for understanding and wisdom.
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