Everything is a debate with the boys lately. I'm done debating. It is exhausting and ultimately gets us NOWHERE.
Tonight Middle Boy wanted to know on a scale of 1 to 10 how much I trusted both him and Younger Boy and why I chose that rating. I gave them both a 7.
I told him my biggest problem with trusting them is their lack of follow through when it comes to keeping their word. My opinion is when you say you are going to do something and you don't I can't trust you. Middle Boy said he often tells me he is going to do things with no intention of doing it, because then I will stop talking to him about it.
I told him when he tells me something it is giving his word. He disagrees. To him giving his word means he promised to do something and used the word "promise" in the agreement. I tried to explain to him his definition doesn't work in life. When you agree, promise or not, you have given your word and then expectation is you will follow through.
The discussion turned into him "defining interrupting", because obviously I never learned it (disrespectful) and he said it is his RIGHT to be disrespectful if he feels like he has been interrupted or accused. The problem is you can't have a conversation with him and give him an observation where he doesn't feel like you are interrupting or accusing. You can't say things like "it seems like this makes you angry". That's an accusation. If he asks a question while talking and you answer you are interrupting, because you didn't let him finish. However, if you make a comment on his interrupting that is an accusation.
When you have a serious conversation with him in the middle he will stop and say things like "Barney shot a rainbow unicorn" and then get mad when I don't think it is funny. Even when I am not having a serious conversation I will NEVER laugh at a random statement like that. It just isn't funny to me. This generally results in him telling me I have NO IDEA how to have fun and I should lighten up like his mentor or Younger Boy's mentor or virtually anyone else in his life. I asked if he is disrespectful to those people when they are "lightening up". Hmm...nope. I figured that out from the non-answer.
Honestly...it is completely exhausting to talk to him sometimes. I hate doing this every night. He insists on it. If I don't engage he will sit there and say things like. "Nice talking to you chair. Nice talking to you wall."
Prayers for wisdom on how to make this STOP or change.
Tonight Middle Boy wanted to know on a scale of 1 to 10 how much I trusted both him and Younger Boy and why I chose that rating. I gave them both a 7.
I told him my biggest problem with trusting them is their lack of follow through when it comes to keeping their word. My opinion is when you say you are going to do something and you don't I can't trust you. Middle Boy said he often tells me he is going to do things with no intention of doing it, because then I will stop talking to him about it.
I told him when he tells me something it is giving his word. He disagrees. To him giving his word means he promised to do something and used the word "promise" in the agreement. I tried to explain to him his definition doesn't work in life. When you agree, promise or not, you have given your word and then expectation is you will follow through.
The discussion turned into him "defining interrupting", because obviously I never learned it (disrespectful) and he said it is his RIGHT to be disrespectful if he feels like he has been interrupted or accused. The problem is you can't have a conversation with him and give him an observation where he doesn't feel like you are interrupting or accusing. You can't say things like "it seems like this makes you angry". That's an accusation. If he asks a question while talking and you answer you are interrupting, because you didn't let him finish. However, if you make a comment on his interrupting that is an accusation.
When you have a serious conversation with him in the middle he will stop and say things like "Barney shot a rainbow unicorn" and then get mad when I don't think it is funny. Even when I am not having a serious conversation I will NEVER laugh at a random statement like that. It just isn't funny to me. This generally results in him telling me I have NO IDEA how to have fun and I should lighten up like his mentor or Younger Boy's mentor or virtually anyone else in his life. I asked if he is disrespectful to those people when they are "lightening up". Hmm...nope. I figured that out from the non-answer.
Honestly...it is completely exhausting to talk to him sometimes. I hate doing this every night. He insists on it. If I don't engage he will sit there and say things like. "Nice talking to you chair. Nice talking to you wall."
Prayers for wisdom on how to make this STOP or change.
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