Both boys need to apologize to Babysitter J.

Middle Boy actually has remorse for being rude to her.  When I mentioned it he got very quiet.  He said he is starting to realize he needs to think before he reacts.  Pretty self aware for a fifteen year old boy.  I suspect this will be quite difficult for him with his FAS/FAE, but knowing is part of the battle.

Younger Boy told me he did apologize.  I told him Babysitter J said he didn't and it was her opinion that mattered.  I asked how he apologized.  He said he opened the bathroom door and shouted "sorry" and slammed the bathroom door.  I explained that while he did that it wasn't really the kind of apology I might expect when someone through poop at our caregiver.

I asked him what he thought he could do to make amends.  This resulted in screaming "I don't know."  I asked him to brainstorm with me.  It resulted in screaming again "I don't know".

I told him we could talk about it when he was able to think with "smart" brain.

Prayers for forgiveness from Babysitter J.  Prayers for soft hearts to understand that these behaviors need work.