Today we had two therapy sessions with Younger Boy...back to our normal routine.

The first session was interesting.

Younger Boy is CONVINCED he is a "bad boy" and "very naughty". 

Here's the new perception I gained from the session.  When traumatized kids have "big behaviors" they often don't know why they do it BUT they do feel guilty about doing it which is actually further trauma to them. 

At a former home Younger Boy used to urinate and defecate on the floor in the family room.  Lots of possible reasons why.  Maybe no one ever really potty trained him and he was left to figure it out himself...who knows?  Ideal behavior?  Absolutely not.  Infuriating for the caretaker?  You bet.  Further trauma for the kiddo?  Yes.  I didn't get that before.  Now I do.

Younger Boy refuses to talk about those things.  Lots and lots of things.  REFUSES.  His core belief is that he is still going to get in trouble for them.  Did you pee on the floor three foster homes ago?  No answer.  Tears.  He could still "get beat". 

He doesn't believe that he can't get in trouble for the past.  He doesn't believe that all kids make mistakes.  He doesn't believe that he is safe now.  Doesn't believe it.

All of this breaks my heart.  This stuff has to "get out of his head".