We drove around for about two hours.  Just me and Middle Boy.

The first hour was him screaming at me.  Screaming and crying and taking deep breaths.

Then he calmed down.  He felt guilty.  REALLY GUILTY.

We talked about how our relationship needs to be repaired.  How there is NO TRUST on either side.  I honestly am not sure I will ever earn his trust due to RAD, but I am working as hard as I can.  His was lost through deception and lying. 

We talked about all of the things we wish were different.  We talked about how life is never going to be perfect.  How there are always going to be things we wish we different or better.

We talked about prayer.  About praying for the big things.

I asked him if he had ever asked God to take away his anger.  He hadn't.  He said he wasn't sure he could.

I told him I believed he could take it all away RIGHT NOW if that was his plan.  I explained that it most likely wasn't going to happen that way, but God is that powerful.

I asked him for five things we could pray for as we drove. 

I prayed for us.  For our relationship.  For healing of anger.  For trust.  For motivation and understanding.  By the end we were both crying.

We'll get there.  This boy makes me fight with everything I have to build a relationship.  Thanks God for having him teach me it is worth it.