Today it is on my heart to make a choice and be at peace with the choice.

Here is what I see as the options:

1.  To love unconditionally as Christ loves us and continue to have these boys in my home regardless of behavior or how I am treated.

OR

2.  Put in my notice and move on with life.

I have been praying for direction, wisdom, strength, and perserverance.  I am tired, so very tired, and am drawing from strength that I don't even possess.

Please pray for us.

What I am doing is nowhere near the sacrifice Christ made for us.  He loved us enough to die for us.  He loves us regardless of our sin.

I am human and have MANY earthly flaws.  Doubt, frustration, and anger are ruling my life right now. 

More than anything I want these boys to be in a home where it is happy.  Ours is not a happy home.  No where near it.

Pray for us.  If you have words of wisdom, share them with me.  I really, really don't know what to do.