Today I got a call from my former foster care specialist. 

She is working on a higher level degree and is doing her studies in the field of attachment therapy.  She asked me if our family would be willing to be a part of her practicum and she would do attachment and bonding therapy with the three of us for free!  She is going to be using the same principles as the attachment and trauma center here in town.

She can't begin her therapies until May 1st because of the place she is in her studies.  She did say that they can get it in to the trauma center before that if we absolutely can't wait.

There are so many great things about having her do it.  We all three have an established relationship with her and trust her.  She is AMAZING with both boys and they like her.  We won't have to do a bunch of work on the history of our relationship, because she was there.  She already knows what it is.

This is such an ABSOLUTE blessing.  It brought me a lot of peace.

She and I also talked about what has been going on and how frustrated I have been with everything.  She knows me well enough to actually vocalize to me all of the things I have been feeling, but couldn't even put into words.

She also reminded me that RAD and trauma make people project.  When Middle Boy says "I hate you and I want to leave, "  what he is really saying to me is "I think you hate me and will want me to leave."  When he says "this is your fault" he is really thinking it is his fault and is worried that I won't love him.

Knowing that doesn't make it less hurtful when he says it, but it does help put it back in perspective for me.

Praises for trauma therapy...however it comes about.  God has again provided exactly what we need...right when we need it.