I talked with Therapist J about the stabbing text over the weekend...this is his reply...
I know Younger Boy has a fair amount of jealousy built up toward Middle Boy. He reported last week feeling like the "3rd Wheel" at home. He just sees you and Middle Boy getting along better than he does and it feels like he is ostracized and your two are always doing things together. I attempted to point out that while it may seem as though you guys "get along better", some of this may simply come from the fact that Middle Boy does not cause some of the drama and troubles he does, essentially trying again to put the responsibility back on Younger Boy. I am not sure I got very far. Younger Boy has identified his role in life as the victim for so long that I think it is nearly impossible for him to see things any other way. I think this is why he has so much trouble relating to others unless he is being treated like a saint. If anyone else around him gets positive attention when he is not, then that person is the enemy and the person giving the attention must not care about Younger Boy at all or they would be spending all their time with him. It is so easy to get attention by being naughty. It is a very sad and destructive existence, but Younger Boy does not see it that way. Hopefully we can get him to open his eyes a little more in the near future. Is there anything at home that just you and Younger Boy do together? Something he would deem as "special" and did not include Middle Boy?
Here's the irony...just yesterday Middle Boy talked to me about the EXACT same thing...how he is the 3rd Wheel at home and how I clearly like Younger Boy better.
Honestly I feel like I am treating them equally.
Prayers for wisdom in how to handle the situation!
I know Younger Boy has a fair amount of jealousy built up toward Middle Boy. He reported last week feeling like the "3rd Wheel" at home. He just sees you and Middle Boy getting along better than he does and it feels like he is ostracized and your two are always doing things together. I attempted to point out that while it may seem as though you guys "get along better", some of this may simply come from the fact that Middle Boy does not cause some of the drama and troubles he does, essentially trying again to put the responsibility back on Younger Boy. I am not sure I got very far. Younger Boy has identified his role in life as the victim for so long that I think it is nearly impossible for him to see things any other way. I think this is why he has so much trouble relating to others unless he is being treated like a saint. If anyone else around him gets positive attention when he is not, then that person is the enemy and the person giving the attention must not care about Younger Boy at all or they would be spending all their time with him. It is so easy to get attention by being naughty. It is a very sad and destructive existence, but Younger Boy does not see it that way. Hopefully we can get him to open his eyes a little more in the near future. Is there anything at home that just you and Younger Boy do together? Something he would deem as "special" and did not include Middle Boy?
Here's the irony...just yesterday Middle Boy talked to me about the EXACT same thing...how he is the 3rd Wheel at home and how I clearly like Younger Boy better.
Honestly I feel like I am treating them equally.
Prayers for wisdom in how to handle the situation!
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