In the calm after the storm Middle Boy and I were able to have some quiet time.  Time when I could show him that I am in fact here...forever.

I gave him a hug while he cried.  I talked to him quietly and prayed for him. 

Something happened that I didn't expect and it caused me to see how very deep his hurt is.

Middle Boy completely shut down.  He couldn't hear a word I was saying.  He didn't respond as I was talking, but he kept on squeezing my hand...tighter and tighter.

I kept talking gently to him, but couldn't get his attention.

When he "came back" he said that he hadn't done that in a long time.  I asked him what had happened.  He said that in therapy they told him he does it when the emotion is too much.

This is healing.  The boy who moved into my home was stone faced and didn't show any emotion even when I thought he should have them.  This boy...on this night...showed emotion.  He cried and he yelled.  He was happy.  He was all over the place.

This should be celebrated.  As hard as it was for me to go through...this should be celebrated.

Praises for healing.