I think I mentioned a while ago that Middle Boy's bio mom was sending him messages on Facebook. Repetetive messages. Unanswered messages.
Middle Boy has a lot of anger surrounding bio mom and while that anger is present he still longs to have a relationship with her. It is really complicated for anyone to handle let alone a 14 year-old boy with a lot of other stuff he is trying to work through.
I decided to just let it run its course. She was basically saying things like "why won't you call me" and "why won't you talk to me". He talked to me about it every time he heard from her. At first he thought it was hurting my feelings to talk to me about her. Now he knows that I am just going to give him advice as I see it.
Yesterday she asked him to tell her the truth about how he felt. We talked about it this morning after I dropped off Younger Boy.
What I told him is that if this is too stressful for him then he has every right to block her from contacting him on Facebook or even tell her to stop contacting him. I also explained she is an adult and just like he has to live life with the consequences of his actions (and some of hers) she has to accept the consequences for her actions. I also told him he can just walk away if that is what he needs to do and figure it out later when he is an adult.
He decided to tell her he is angry at her for doing drugs and ruining his life. He also told her he is angry she chose to relinquish her rights instead of having them terminated. He told her he hates her for it.
I know over the coming days there is going to be regret and guilt associated with the choice he made, but we will work through it.
I am REALLY lucky in that Middle Boy (actually both boys) choose to talk to me about EVERYTHING.
Prayers for healing for both of them.
Middle Boy has a lot of anger surrounding bio mom and while that anger is present he still longs to have a relationship with her. It is really complicated for anyone to handle let alone a 14 year-old boy with a lot of other stuff he is trying to work through.
I decided to just let it run its course. She was basically saying things like "why won't you call me" and "why won't you talk to me". He talked to me about it every time he heard from her. At first he thought it was hurting my feelings to talk to me about her. Now he knows that I am just going to give him advice as I see it.
Yesterday she asked him to tell her the truth about how he felt. We talked about it this morning after I dropped off Younger Boy.
What I told him is that if this is too stressful for him then he has every right to block her from contacting him on Facebook or even tell her to stop contacting him. I also explained she is an adult and just like he has to live life with the consequences of his actions (and some of hers) she has to accept the consequences for her actions. I also told him he can just walk away if that is what he needs to do and figure it out later when he is an adult.
He decided to tell her he is angry at her for doing drugs and ruining his life. He also told her he is angry she chose to relinquish her rights instead of having them terminated. He told her he hates her for it.
I know over the coming days there is going to be regret and guilt associated with the choice he made, but we will work through it.
I am REALLY lucky in that Middle Boy (actually both boys) choose to talk to me about EVERYTHING.
Prayers for healing for both of them.
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