This has been my day...Anne did a guest post on another blog and she linked it to her blog "just for me".  Probably not just for me, but I like to think that.  Indulge me here.

Here is Anne's post.

Parenting the Broken Child

I sit and I think about the questions I would ask if I could just sit and talk to Anne.  I have wondered the same thing.  Can I help these kids heal?  What if what I am doing just isn't enough?  What if it is never enough and what if they can't ever love me?  Is that okay for me?

Just last night in the midst of the horrific stories of abuse Middle Boy said to me "You know...I have a double thick wall around my heart, right?  You also know I don't control the wall anymore and it controls me, right?"

Yes, Middle Boy, I understand.  I also understand maybe one day I will make a crack in that wall.  I think sometimes you are letting me in.  I think last night was a BIG STEP forward in trust.  I also know that today you will pull away.  You will think you have let me know too much and you might not even be fun to be around.  It's the dance we do.  You'll work as hard as you can to push me away.

I'm not leaving.  Didn't leave when you went to the juvenile center.  Didn't leave when you got put on probation.  Don't even complain (to you at least) about how constrained our life is right now, because of your situation.  Like I told you.  It is our situation...ours...not yours...ours.  It is what our life is right now.  It isn't what defines us or our family.  You aren't a bad person, you made a bad choice.

You said yourself last night that it's easy to make bad choices and you are good at it.

Here's the thing...you told me yourself yesterday when we were talking that you know right from wrong.  You expect yourself to do wrong. 

You are NOT A FAILURE.  You are an AMAZING kid.  I wish you could see it.  I wish when I told you that you didn't shut down.

In the moment like Anne had with James I think we can just be.