I thought that I would reflect back on those feelings I had a year ago today.  The day before I started this journey.  Here is what I had to say then:

So for weeks I have been waiting for two boys to move in with me...two foster boys.  Tomorrow it is a go.  I'm scared out of my mind.  I don't know how to be a parent. I've never been a parent.  These boys have some special needs...needs I am not sure how to meet.  The funny thing is that I have waited for you for my whole life. I love you already.

I just keep thinking...here we are...for the long haul. I don't know where this road is going to take the three of us. Will our family stay this size? Will it get bigger? What will happen? Will we be a forever family or are you just simply passing through? I hope we can figure all of this out together...with God's help.

Wow...I look at this and I can hardly believe it.  This journey has been one of laughter and tears.  One of heartache and joy.  It is so interesting that I still have some of the same questions. 

Will our family stay this size?  Interstingly it grew to a family of four for six weeks and now we are back to three.  A different three than the original three, but three just the same.

Will it get bigger?  Only God can answer this one.  My input which God might be laughing at is "not in this house".

What will happen?  I could have never anticipated some of the things that have happened, both good and bad.  What I do know is that I have grown as a person and as a believer.

Will we be a forever family or are you just simply passing through?  Hmmm...in some ways this still needs to be revealed.  The next few weeks will be a strong indicator of what this looks like going forward.

I joked to my lifegroup on Monday how I have never prayed to God the prayer "bring it".  I think I am ready to pray that now with foster care and these boys.

Father...I'm ready...have your way.