I knew that there was a reason JS from foster care class was still in my life. A reason we ran into each other at the pumpkin patch and our foster kiddos met.

Talking to JS makes me feel like I am not crazy. She reaffirms to me that this is hard. Harder than anyone can possibly imagine unless they are there. Living your life on a day to day basis wondering if these kids are even going to live with you in two weeks, a month, a year. Wondering if what you are doing is enough and knowing that while you are responsible for their day to day livelihood you can't make the choices about anything else.

It makes it hard not to protect your heart. It makes it hard not to be ugly.

JS and I talked and laughed and cried. She reaffirmed that I am not crazy and that I am not alone. We talked about all of the times that we have just been mad...mad about everything. Mad about why we were chosen to do this. Mad about why every time you turn around there is something in the way of the kids getting the help they need. Just plain mad.

The hard part is that at the center of it all are these kids that we desperately love. If they were our kids we would do things different. We would get them the help they need not wait for someone to maybe or maybe not approve it.

JS...thank you. Thanks for listening. Thanks for understanding. I appreciate you!!

Praises for the right people in our lives EXACTLY when we need them.