Tonight I had volunteered us to help with child care at our foster care agency.  The boys both actually LOVE to do this.

On our way there we had our family meeting.

I started off by saying I think we all have regrets over words we have said and some actions.  I wanted us to talk about how we have been treating others and how we each wanted to be treated.  I wanted us to address each person in the family individually.

I went first.  I have not been the mom I want to be.  I get frustrated.  I yell and I lose my patience.  I come unglued more than I want to.  Sometimes I don't let things just end and I need to get the last word...prove I win.  I don't want to do that anymore, because the boys deserve a better mom than that.

Younger Boy went second.  He said he regrets getting too angry for situations and taking it out on both of us.  He regrets saying "snotty" things to Middle Boy and not listening and following directions.  He feels bad

Middle Boy went last.  He regrets bullying Younger Boy.  He regrets hitting him and using unkind words.  He regrets saying things to me he doesn't mean just to be mean.  He regrets swearing at me and not following directions.

I want to be treated with respect and I want the boys to listen to what I say.  I don't want people to yell at me or swear at me.

Younger Boy wants to be treated with respect.  He doesn't want to be made fun of or bullied.  He wants people to be patient.

Middle Boy wants others to be respectful of him and not yell at him.  He wants others to listen to him.

We talked about how we are going to hold each other accountable.  We talked about how when others in the family need space we need to give them that space. 

I asked if we were going to give up or fight for this family and whether or not this family is worth fighting for.  Both boys admitted they love this family and it is worth fighting for.

Thank you God for the right words at the right time tonight.