Today was my hour of therapy.  It was kind of a relief to be there.

We talked a lot about the stresses of the past week and most especially the stresses of yesterday with Middle Boy.  I told her about our conversation and his need to berate me and scream at me.  She reminded me the things he is saying are an outward projection of how he is feeling about himself.  I "know" that, but sometimes it is so hard not to internalize it.

We talked about how the boys are doing with the move and how I am doing with the move.  The boys are adjusting.  I'm not really.  Everything is still in complete disarray.  We will be gone the majority of this weekend and next week we are hosting an adoption open house.

We talked about the adoption.  We talked about how frustrating it is to me how neither boy has ANY IDEA when the adoption is.  IT IS NEXT WEEK.  I have told you a million times.  We discussed how this is a defense mechanism for both of them.  How if they don't know when it is supposed to happen they won't be disappointed when it doesn't.  Inherently I already knew this...still doesn't make it less frustrating.

We talked about how I feel about the upcoming adoption.  Honestly I am just starting to sort through it.  I KNOW there are big feelings on my part...really big feelings.  I am just having trouble logically defining them right now.  Really understanding what is going on with me.  I am hoping to have some alone, quiet time to just work through it in the next few days, but time like that is few and far between for me.

Praises for having this extra support through my foster care agency.  It is making a HUGE difference in my life.

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