This morning I am unsure of everything I believed in about my small little family.

During Younger Boy's therapy it came out that Middle Boy is using intimidation techniques and bullying with Younger Boy on a multiple time a day basis.  This is happening while I am home and in the same room.

How have I not noticed?  Younger Boy is scared enough that he was crying.

When I asked why he never told me he said it would be just like all of the other homes and he would get beat up for telling. 

It literally makes me want to throw up.  He has been lying for Middle Boy, because of what he perceives to be the alternative.

I have to address it today.  Younger Boy's safety is top priority.  Younger Boy says he has never been hit by Middle Boy.  I am not sure I think that is true, because he went on to say it is okay for brothers to beat each other up when they are angry.  He gave examples of he and Older Boy and other families they had lived in.

I am so ANGRY and HURT right now.  I don't know what to do with this.

God give me wisdom and mercy.
1 Response
  1. DeeDee Says:

    Deceit and Lies are the hardest thing for me to deal with. Lying will send me from 0 to 5000 in a second. I am off the charts angry when it comes to lies and totally dysregulated. I take it very personal, even though in the end it has nothing to do with me but a “survival” brain response. It happens right in front of me as well & I do not notice…don’t take it personal that you don’t notice but it is that Middle Boy is has been taught so well how to do it without getting caught, it is a learned behavior.

    One thing I have learned is the bullying & intimidation comes from when a person is hurt. My Oldest Son does this often and usually it is when he is hurting. Therapist R once told us that “hurt people hurt other people”, this does not excuse the behavior & it is not tolerated in our home but each time (often, sometimes it is several times a day or week) if I get to why my Oldest Son is hurting & deal with the hurt the bullying will lessen for a while.

    Most likely trust & respect will be the last two feeling the boys will have toward you. They will have to let their guard down to have either of these feelings & breaking the wall takes lots of time.

    Praying for your family, you all need each and God knows this.

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