Today was our last chance this week to get Middle Boy's homecoming outfit and both boy's clothes to wear to the adoptions.
When we got in the car I asked Middle Boy if he could just not text while we were shopping so it could go faster and we could get home and get some things done.
No..he can't. What he is talking about is important. I told him to choose a two hour time window some time before 9PM that he was not going to text. I didn't care when it was, but there had to be a two hour window. He told me I am unreasonable and I never listen.
He screamed at me. He swore at me. He cried. He told me I don't want him to live with me. I don't care anything about it. I never listen. I always interrupt and I don't care what he has to say. If I would have taken the time to listen he was going to tell me that he chose two hours and it would be after we got home. He kept getting madder and madder. Said that he is sick of me getting "my entertainment" from pushing him to his breaking point every single day. I have NEVER said one kind word to him the entire time he has lived with me. All I want to talk about is how he is bad and a failure and will never amount to anything. It just kept escalating.
We got to the store and I calmly said Younger Boy and I are going in. You can join us if you would like.
We got out of the car and went in. He apparently didn't like that, because he came STORMING into the store to tell me we suck as a family. He kept repeating over and over "I just need you to listen to me". I probably said fifty times "What do you need to tell me?" Every time he would just repeat how I don't listen. I left the store. I couldn't take it.
When we got to the car I told him I would listen for five minutes. He could tell me what he needed to say. I didn't mention the fact that I didn't say a word during the entire rant on the way to the store.
He screamed at me for another twelve minutes. The only thing he said was that I refuse to listen to him. I started the car and drove to the other store we needed to go to.
When we arrived I told him this was his only opportunity to get his homecoming outfit. He could stay in the car until he pulled himself together while Younger Boy and I shopped and we went in.
Walking into the store Younger Boy said "I don't like it when he does this. Can I just move somewhere else?" It broke my heart. I explained that I don't like it either. Not one bit, but that he had some big feelings right now and he didn't know how to work through them. It is our job as his family to help him. He understood and told me he loves Middle Boy.
After twenty minutes we saw Middle Boy in the store. They both got their new clothes and we left to go home.
Middle Boy's phone has been disabled for the next two weeks or until he learns to speak to me respectfully.
Prayers for finding other ways to cope with big feelings.
When we got in the car I asked Middle Boy if he could just not text while we were shopping so it could go faster and we could get home and get some things done.
No..he can't. What he is talking about is important. I told him to choose a two hour time window some time before 9PM that he was not going to text. I didn't care when it was, but there had to be a two hour window. He told me I am unreasonable and I never listen.
He screamed at me. He swore at me. He cried. He told me I don't want him to live with me. I don't care anything about it. I never listen. I always interrupt and I don't care what he has to say. If I would have taken the time to listen he was going to tell me that he chose two hours and it would be after we got home. He kept getting madder and madder. Said that he is sick of me getting "my entertainment" from pushing him to his breaking point every single day. I have NEVER said one kind word to him the entire time he has lived with me. All I want to talk about is how he is bad and a failure and will never amount to anything. It just kept escalating.
We got to the store and I calmly said Younger Boy and I are going in. You can join us if you would like.
We got out of the car and went in. He apparently didn't like that, because he came STORMING into the store to tell me we suck as a family. He kept repeating over and over "I just need you to listen to me". I probably said fifty times "What do you need to tell me?" Every time he would just repeat how I don't listen. I left the store. I couldn't take it.
When we got to the car I told him I would listen for five minutes. He could tell me what he needed to say. I didn't mention the fact that I didn't say a word during the entire rant on the way to the store.
He screamed at me for another twelve minutes. The only thing he said was that I refuse to listen to him. I started the car and drove to the other store we needed to go to.
When we arrived I told him this was his only opportunity to get his homecoming outfit. He could stay in the car until he pulled himself together while Younger Boy and I shopped and we went in.
Walking into the store Younger Boy said "I don't like it when he does this. Can I just move somewhere else?" It broke my heart. I explained that I don't like it either. Not one bit, but that he had some big feelings right now and he didn't know how to work through them. It is our job as his family to help him. He understood and told me he loves Middle Boy.
After twenty minutes we saw Middle Boy in the store. They both got their new clothes and we left to go home.
Middle Boy's phone has been disabled for the next two weeks or until he learns to speak to me respectfully.
Prayers for finding other ways to cope with big feelings.
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