After game night the boys and I sat and talked about life.   We talked about what they want to do when they get older and what they hope their lives are like.

All of them talked about how they never wanted to be like their parents and how they hoped the could have good families one day. 

Older and Younger Boy got in an argument and Middle Boy stepped in and told them how lucky they are to be biological brothers and they need to learn to respect each other.  He said he has noticed that they seem to be angry and that they can't both wait for the other person to be respectful.  It has to start with each of them.  I wanted to cry, because it was so sweet.

Older Boy went to bed, because he was very tired. 

I continued talking to the other two boys.  We talked more about life.  Younger Boy really thinks I should get married.  He thinks I will be sad if I don't.  I told the boys that while it would be nice to share my life with someone that right now my heart is very full of love for them.

We talked about being a forever family.  We had never really discussed this before.  They asked what I thought.  Did I want to adopt them?  I can't imagine being a kid and even having to muster up the courage to ask that question and wonder what the answer was going to be.  These two have had so much hurt and rejection in their lives. 

I haven't really talked about it with anyone except God until this past week.  I didn't know what God's intent was for me and these boys.  I can say it is complicated.  I can say that I want what is absolutely the best for each and every one of these three boys.  I can say it looks different in all three cases.

You can't explain that to a kid though.  All they really want is a simple yes or no. 

In some capacity each of these kiddos is going to be my forever family...whether it is guardianship or adoption. 

It's just complicated.

Prayers for sweet family talks and open hearts.  Praises for family.