Tonight I had it.
We had youth group. It is Wednesday night. Our typical routine on Wednesday night is to grab something to eat at a restaurant before youth group. Middle Boy, Younger Boy and I waited for Older Boy to get home from football.
Older Boy got home and I talked to him about the excessive use of his phone. He decided he needed a snack. When I told him we were leaving for dinner he gave me a profane answer and said he wasn't waiting to eat.
The car ride kind of went downhill from there. Both Older Boy and Younger Boy were being disrespectful to each other and to me. Middle Boy did his best to stay out of it, but when Older Boy decided to slap him in the back of the head he lost his patience. Of course Older Boy didn't mean to and didn't need to be accountable for his actions. Younger Boy continued screaming about how it isn't his fault he doesn't do his homework and that shouldn't be a reason to not get his phone back.
I decided when we got the parking lot to ask the boys how many times it was reasonable to ask them to do something. They all said two at the most. I asked how many times I had asked them to quit their behavior. One said seven and the other said five. I explained they had decided they were in the unreasonable range. Older Boy screamed about how he deserved another chance. We went home. Last night there were no more chances.
We needed to go to Walmart so we did that instead. The boys had a choice. They could stay with me and get a snack and a gatorade or they could go look at things and meet me in the front in fifteen minutes. Middle Boy stuck with me. I think it was partly because he gambled on the fact it would be time he could spend alone talking to me. Older Boy popped in and out of the picture long enough to be around to get a snack. Younger Boy did his own thing and didn't get a snack. He did throw a temper tantrum before we left the store though. His behavior is making me rethink whether or not he is capable of attending the lock-in.
The boys went to bed and Younger Boy came to talk to me. He said he was sorry for being "a jerk". I told him I accepted his apology and that he should go back to bed. It was VERY clear that is not the outcome he had intended. I think he thought I would tell him he could definitely go to the lock-in. I didn't. I told him we could discuss it tomorrow night after I see if he has done all of his homework the past few days and is able to be respectful for the evening.
Prayers the behaviors diminish. It is exhausting to have someone in a 11 or 14 year old boy acting like they are toddlers.
We had youth group. It is Wednesday night. Our typical routine on Wednesday night is to grab something to eat at a restaurant before youth group. Middle Boy, Younger Boy and I waited for Older Boy to get home from football.
Older Boy got home and I talked to him about the excessive use of his phone. He decided he needed a snack. When I told him we were leaving for dinner he gave me a profane answer and said he wasn't waiting to eat.
The car ride kind of went downhill from there. Both Older Boy and Younger Boy were being disrespectful to each other and to me. Middle Boy did his best to stay out of it, but when Older Boy decided to slap him in the back of the head he lost his patience. Of course Older Boy didn't mean to and didn't need to be accountable for his actions. Younger Boy continued screaming about how it isn't his fault he doesn't do his homework and that shouldn't be a reason to not get his phone back.
I decided when we got the parking lot to ask the boys how many times it was reasonable to ask them to do something. They all said two at the most. I asked how many times I had asked them to quit their behavior. One said seven and the other said five. I explained they had decided they were in the unreasonable range. Older Boy screamed about how he deserved another chance. We went home. Last night there were no more chances.
We needed to go to Walmart so we did that instead. The boys had a choice. They could stay with me and get a snack and a gatorade or they could go look at things and meet me in the front in fifteen minutes. Middle Boy stuck with me. I think it was partly because he gambled on the fact it would be time he could spend alone talking to me. Older Boy popped in and out of the picture long enough to be around to get a snack. Younger Boy did his own thing and didn't get a snack. He did throw a temper tantrum before we left the store though. His behavior is making me rethink whether or not he is capable of attending the lock-in.
The boys went to bed and Younger Boy came to talk to me. He said he was sorry for being "a jerk". I told him I accepted his apology and that he should go back to bed. It was VERY clear that is not the outcome he had intended. I think he thought I would tell him he could definitely go to the lock-in. I didn't. I told him we could discuss it tomorrow night after I see if he has done all of his homework the past few days and is able to be respectful for the evening.
Prayers the behaviors diminish. It is exhausting to have someone in a 11 or 14 year old boy acting like they are toddlers.
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