Middle Boy can't sleep.  I went in their room to talk to him.  We sat on the floor and talked about life.  He is nervous about school tomorrow.  The school is big and he thinks he won't be able to find his way around.  He doesn't want to be "that kid" who is late because he was lost.  He hasn't been there on a B day, because he was sick on Tuesday.  He only had his "buddy" for three days.  We brainstormed all of the ways he might be able to find his way around.  He decided the best option was to go to the guidance counselor and ask for another day with a "buddy" since he was absent.  We prayed for calming of anxious hearts.

He asked me if anything ever made me scared or nervous and what was the thing in my life that I have been the most afraid of or nervous about.  I was honest.  The thing in my life that has scared me the most is becoming a foster parent.  There were so many things I was nervous about.  Would my family approve?  Would I be horrible at it?  Would the kids like me?  Would I have the patience?  Did I have time?  Would I be able to change my life?  Am I too selfish?  What if I got kids I totally couldn't relate to?  I never had a brother...what if I got boys?  What about not having a dad in the house?

I told Middle Boy all of those insecurities.  I wasn't expecting him to say a word.  All he did was said..."I'm glad you did."

That right there makes this journey worth it.

Prayers for the calming of anxious hearts.  There will probably be a lot more anxiety before we get anywhere near our "normal".