Both boys always assume the WORST is going to happen. If there is a way a situation can be interpreted to have a catastophic component...they will assume it will happen.
Tonight was no different.
We were driving on the interstate and happened to be between two trucks. Immediately Younger Boy said, "I'm pretty sure we are going to get smashed in between these two trucks." I asked why. Middle Boy explained it was because our vehicle is smaller than the trucks and so WHEN they started to merge together we would all be killed. I said I thought the likelihood was low.
They started discussing how when it happened they would throw open the doors and jump onto the interstate. We aren't in an action movie!! I explained in all honesty they would be safer if they remainded in the car, because at least they would have it for protection.
Immediately it turned to how remaining in the car would get them killed by the airbags, because that's what airbags do...kill people. I explained while it was true in a VERY SMALL number of cases the airbags are installed for safety. I asked them to think about it. Why would a car manufacturer KNOWINGLY install something in cars that would kill people in an accident? I told them I thought it would be irresponsible of the car manufacturer.
I then asked if it was possible to just have neutral thoughts about driving between trucks. Like...don't even let it cross your mind? Neither thought it was a possibility. Younger Boy said you should ALWAYS expect the worst. Middle Boy added, "because that is what is going to happen." I asked if there was anything else to the phrase. Nope nothing.
I asked if they thought hope should be a part of it, because I thought without hope life must be really hard. Both of them said it is too hard to hope for anything, because when you do your heart gets broken and there isn't more room for a broken heart.
Both cited the example of adoption. Middle Boy even went so far as to say he had a SMALL amount of hope I was going to adopt him, but he didn't like to think about it since it probably wasn't going to happen anyway. Younger Boy echoed the sentiment.
Wow. It was like I was punched in the stomach. I told them there are only TWO THINGS left in the adoption process...the subsidy agreement and the hearing. Both of them started to cry. Middle Boy said he didn't realize it was that close.
It puts things in perspective. I love these boys. I thought they understood, but I think their survival brains won't let them believe it.
Praises for the conversations which allow me to have a change in perspective.
Tonight was no different.
We were driving on the interstate and happened to be between two trucks. Immediately Younger Boy said, "I'm pretty sure we are going to get smashed in between these two trucks." I asked why. Middle Boy explained it was because our vehicle is smaller than the trucks and so WHEN they started to merge together we would all be killed. I said I thought the likelihood was low.
They started discussing how when it happened they would throw open the doors and jump onto the interstate. We aren't in an action movie!! I explained in all honesty they would be safer if they remainded in the car, because at least they would have it for protection.
Immediately it turned to how remaining in the car would get them killed by the airbags, because that's what airbags do...kill people. I explained while it was true in a VERY SMALL number of cases the airbags are installed for safety. I asked them to think about it. Why would a car manufacturer KNOWINGLY install something in cars that would kill people in an accident? I told them I thought it would be irresponsible of the car manufacturer.
I then asked if it was possible to just have neutral thoughts about driving between trucks. Like...don't even let it cross your mind? Neither thought it was a possibility. Younger Boy said you should ALWAYS expect the worst. Middle Boy added, "because that is what is going to happen." I asked if there was anything else to the phrase. Nope nothing.
I asked if they thought hope should be a part of it, because I thought without hope life must be really hard. Both of them said it is too hard to hope for anything, because when you do your heart gets broken and there isn't more room for a broken heart.
Both cited the example of adoption. Middle Boy even went so far as to say he had a SMALL amount of hope I was going to adopt him, but he didn't like to think about it since it probably wasn't going to happen anyway. Younger Boy echoed the sentiment.
Wow. It was like I was punched in the stomach. I told them there are only TWO THINGS left in the adoption process...the subsidy agreement and the hearing. Both of them started to cry. Middle Boy said he didn't realize it was that close.
It puts things in perspective. I love these boys. I thought they understood, but I think their survival brains won't let them believe it.
Praises for the conversations which allow me to have a change in perspective.
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