...this post is less about the boys and more about me.

Since the boys have moved in I have noticed God working in me...really working in me.  At first I think the changes were subtle.  I started noticing I had a lot more patience than I would have said I had.  At the same time I was becoming more aware of the things friends and family were sharing and how they truly were exactly what I needed when I needed them.

I also started to notice myself saying things and having wisdom that didn't even seem like it could possibly be coming from me.  I could hear words coming out of my mouth and actually at times think "wow...that was something I would NEVER say". 

I am finding that in the past I would have been a BIG MESS about the situation I find Middle Boy currently in.  I would have been literally sick to my stomach and not able to function otherwise.  I've been there before with worry over things.  Here is what I am finding...I can find the blessings in our current situation.  Without our time apart Middle Boy would not have learned to trust me, I mean really trust me.  While I still really want to control EVERYTHING I am actually learning to trust God.  I am actually able to take a step back and see that while this isn't what I would have chosen there are truly some blessings associated with it.

I don't feel sick about the outcome of Middle Boy's situation.  I feel oddly at peace.  I love Middle Boy, but I know that God loves him more.

I still have a long way to go in this journey...both with the boys and with God, but life is good, because God is good...ALL THE TIME.