Middle Boy is losing hope.  Quickly.

When he called tonight he asked me to please tell him good news...please tell him he was coming home.  He knows that I can't do that.  I have been really fighting to not show him my frustation in the process.  He thinks it is going too slow.  I agree.  This is my frustration, too.

He told me this was his worst day yet.  I asked if something specific happened to make it worse than the others.  He said "Mom, I am in jail.  How do expect my days to be?'. 

I started to cry.  Silent tears running down my face.  I know his days are hard.  I don't want him to know that I, too, am frustrated. 

I did my best in the conversation.  I really did.  I asked him to call me again tonight, because I want to talk to him.  I want to pray with him.  I want him to know that I will not leave and that I love him.  I need him to know that.

My heart is breaking for him tonight.  He is sad.  He wants to come home.  He has a problem with depression.  I don't want it to get worse.

Prayers for hope.  Prayers for peace.  Prayers for my strength to increase so I can help to hold him together when I want to fall apart.