Today was Younger Boy's normal therapy. Honestly I haven't reconciled in my mind him missing TWO HOURS of school each week for therapy. I'm torn, because in the grand scheme of his life therapy is probably significantly more important, but so is school. School is what you are measured by as a kid.
It's no secret Younger Boy is having big feelings and behaviors. One minute he is giving kooky stories, the next he is enraged, and then I have a toddler on my hands. Therapist C calls it Little Younger Boy wandering around. She talks a lot about being your "oldest self". I rarely know who I am going to get these days.
This is the stress of the days leading up to adoption. Add onto it the fact that our move was pushed back TWICE and is now still looming in front of us. He also started middle school AND football.
His brain is full. Some of the stuff he is thinking about needs to come out through talking...not behavior.
There were two things he wanted to focus on which have been his triggers lately...the move and the guilt over "telling on" Bio Mom.
The move is a trigger because he has moved before. He knows what that is about. The difference is that every other time it has meant not only a new home, but also a new family. The idea of moving is stressful for him. It brings up big feelings and although "smart brain" KNOWS it will be the same family and all of his stuff is making the move "tricky brain" makes him question it.
We talked about guilt surrounding his bio family. He believes (as most foster kids do) that it is his fault the family is not together. If he could have been a better kid, if he could have not had nightmares, if only....
Therapist D was pretty blunt with him. She told him that in cases where there is violence in the home sometimes kids die. Sometimes it is the FIRST time there is violence. She told him that is kind of where his life turned lucky. The violence didn't kill him and there were adults who loved him enough to protect him.
We did the EMDR surrounding the guilt over "telling on" Bio Mom. After the hour was over we were finally getting to the underlying thought. He was convinced that by "telling on her" she would no longer love him. There it is. It took six or seven iterations of the lights to get there. There were a lot of tears.
What is so fascinating about Younger Boy is how "smart brain" is REALLY SMART. He can logically think through the entire scenario and figure it out. "Tricky brain" is REALLY STRONG in him. It overrides "smart brain" nearly every time and he becomes less capable of figuring things out. It is so interesting to watch.
Prayers for continued healing and open discussions.
Praises for finding this amazing therapy...where we live. God, thank you for opening the right doors for healing and support. You knew what we needed...what he needed...and YOU ARE SO GOOD.
It's no secret Younger Boy is having big feelings and behaviors. One minute he is giving kooky stories, the next he is enraged, and then I have a toddler on my hands. Therapist C calls it Little Younger Boy wandering around. She talks a lot about being your "oldest self". I rarely know who I am going to get these days.
This is the stress of the days leading up to adoption. Add onto it the fact that our move was pushed back TWICE and is now still looming in front of us. He also started middle school AND football.
His brain is full. Some of the stuff he is thinking about needs to come out through talking...not behavior.
There were two things he wanted to focus on which have been his triggers lately...the move and the guilt over "telling on" Bio Mom.
The move is a trigger because he has moved before. He knows what that is about. The difference is that every other time it has meant not only a new home, but also a new family. The idea of moving is stressful for him. It brings up big feelings and although "smart brain" KNOWS it will be the same family and all of his stuff is making the move "tricky brain" makes him question it.
We talked about guilt surrounding his bio family. He believes (as most foster kids do) that it is his fault the family is not together. If he could have been a better kid, if he could have not had nightmares, if only....
Therapist D was pretty blunt with him. She told him that in cases where there is violence in the home sometimes kids die. Sometimes it is the FIRST time there is violence. She told him that is kind of where his life turned lucky. The violence didn't kill him and there were adults who loved him enough to protect him.
We did the EMDR surrounding the guilt over "telling on" Bio Mom. After the hour was over we were finally getting to the underlying thought. He was convinced that by "telling on her" she would no longer love him. There it is. It took six or seven iterations of the lights to get there. There were a lot of tears.
What is so fascinating about Younger Boy is how "smart brain" is REALLY SMART. He can logically think through the entire scenario and figure it out. "Tricky brain" is REALLY STRONG in him. It overrides "smart brain" nearly every time and he becomes less capable of figuring things out. It is so interesting to watch.
Prayers for continued healing and open discussions.
Praises for finding this amazing therapy...where we live. God, thank you for opening the right doors for healing and support. You knew what we needed...what he needed...and YOU ARE SO GOOD.
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