Tonight after the boys were in youth group I was still in the hall.  I went into the room.  They were having worship time and it was dark.  Someone asked me how I was doing and I lost it.

I cried.  This day has been so hard.  These boys are so hard.  I am so tired.

I spent the entire day thinking the boy I have come to love as my own wanted to kill himself and I didn't know why.  He is hurting so much and I feel like I can't help him.

My other son is sleeping in his room fully clothed, with his glasses and the lights on in case someone comes into his room and he has to hurry up and hide.

I RARELY cry about this life God has chosen for me.  Tonight though...I cried....and cried.

I am so thankful to the people who asked me how we are doing and for their prayers.  Their hugs and encouragement is a blessing they will never understand the impact of.

Pray for peace for me.  Pray for rest.